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Arranged Marriage Vs Love Marriage
Abraham Lincoln had rightly said, “Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory”. Marriage is a divine bond between two people that is meant to be unbroken forever. In India, matrimony does not only bind two people but also two families. Today, Indian marriages are always more of arranged marriages as Love marriages are considered a taboo. The society is yet to accept the concept of love marriages and people who fall in love have a hard time convincing their respective families.
Love marriages have started making their mark in various parts of the society. Young adults feel that it is paramount for them to know a person before they make the scary decision of spending their entire life with them. Contrary to this, their parents believe that it is only an arranged marriage that can ensure a long solemnizing wedding. In short, love marriages are still thought to be demeaning and inferior to arranged marriages. In this article, we have discussed whether it is better to love and marry or to marry and love!
Is Arranged Marriage Better Than Love Marriage?
We all know that in love marriage the couple is already in love before tying the nuptial knot. In many cases, they have been with each other for more than 5 years while in others they have known each other for some months. Whatever the case is, the bottom line is that they know each other well enough. There will be hardly any shocks after marriage as both the good and bad has been thoroughly explored. This in turn helps to effortlessly develop a comfort level. Now, coming to arranged marriages, the bride and groom barely know each other. Their 2-3 months courtship is the only time that they get to learn about each other’s likes and dislikes. As a result, they require more time to reach the comfort level after marriage. Thus, we can say that a love marriage scores an extra point here.
Love Marriages Give the Main Benefit of Choosing Your Life Partner
You can look for someone exactly as you want without having to compromise at every point. This further dispels the myth, which says that a love marriage does not guarantee financial stability. If a person is worried about money, he/she always has an option of not being with someone who is poor or uneducated. Apart from this, love marriages also allow you to make decisions based on physical attractiveness and personality of a person. Imagine, what would you do if you were not physically attracted to your partner who has been chosen by your parents? Of course, parents try their best to find a suitable partner for their child, someone who is attractive and has a well-groomed personality, but what if their idea of good looks does not match with that of their son or daughter.
Love Alone is Not Enough for a Marriage to Sustain
Other than this the two other vital factors a marriage is based on are- compromise and adjustment. In a love marriage, the expectations are usually higher as the couple has been in love before marriage. In some cases, these lead to lesser adjustment and compromise. In arranged marriages, there are no expectations and preconceived notions about each other. In fact, compromise is the foundation of such marriages. People are willing to take an extra step to keep each other happy and this gesture can work wonders! Due to this reason, some consider arranged marriages better than love marriages.
Everyone looks for someone to blame when something fails. This provides us with a major plus in the case of arranged marriages since if anything goes wrong, the couple can put it on their respective families. In addition, they can also resort and put faith in their family and other loved ones. Their families would always come in between and try their best to solve the issue. However, if anything goes wrong in a love marriage, which was against the consent of the family then the couple is overwhelmed with criticism and blame. If the couple separates from their family in a love marriage, they have to deal with their martial issues on their own. Due to resentment, relatives and families refuse to play the peacemaker. Hence, an arranged matrimony is considered more secure.
Arranged Marriages are Great for Young Adults Who Do Not Want to Spend Time Looking for a Life Partner
This gives them ample time to concentrate on their career and education as they have faith in their parents to choose a perfect partner for them when the time is right. The best part of this is that they are also immune to the inevitable pain that one goes through while searching a partner for them. People who are adamant to get a love marriage may have to go through a lot of heartbreaks and rejection until they find the ‘one’. This may result in low self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, arranged marriage can be a huge relief especially for people who are shy and go through social anxiety.
Parents do not just choose the first person they see for their children. They too consider a lot of factors such as religion, wealth, reputation, vocation and caste. They do whatever is in their power to find a suitable match, which also includes giving advertisements in the newspaper and creating a profile of their son or daughter on various matrimony sites. However, you should not believe everything that is told about a bride/groom before marriage. For example, many newlyweds find out after marriage that their partner is suffering from some terrible disease, or is in a huge debt, or something else, which was not disclosed before the nuptial. And yes, how can we forget the infamous and dreaded dowry. The first thing that usually happens after the match is the discussion about the dowry. Even though dowry is illegal after 1961, nobody follows it.
Love Marriage Allows the Relationship to Take Shape In Its Own Pace
Unlike an arranged matrimony where the groom and the bride barely have time to get to know each other before the wedlock, a love marriage gives them ample time to explore the relationship. This helps in actually knowing the person deeply before committing to marriage. We do not however mean that a love marriage is free of problems. Shakespeare says, “Love is blind and lovers cannot see’’ which is just not figurative. It means that people in love to have their set of problems. A person who is in love tends to ignore a lot of things. They suddenly become overly trusting and make haste decisions. If one is not careful then people can take advantage of them by showcasing mutual love while planning something disastrous. They take away a lot from the victim not only emotionally and physically but also financially. That does not mean that one should not fall too deeply in love but it means that you must be careful. Should you find that your partner is abusive or dishonest, simply put an end to the relationship. Basically, landing up with a wrong person even after due diligence has everything to do with destiny.
Which One Gets More Points- Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage?
There can never be a white or a black patch in the arranged marriage vs. love marriage debate. Matrimony depends mainly on the bride and groom, irrespective of it being an arranged or love one. Neither of the two can guarantee success as both have their own sets of pros and cons. They are like two faces of the same coin. Ultimately, the success of a marriage depends on individual choices, they are the ones who can decide which is best suited for them.
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