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Health » Life » Unable-influence-people-060713
I am unable to impress people

Dr. Tushar Guha Dr. Tushar Guha
Is the Founder Managing Director of Nrityanjali - the Institute of Performing Arts, Education, Personality Development and Management Services. He is also a practicing Psychologist, Counsellor, Educationist & Corporate Trainer. Have a question? Click here...

Peer pressure

Shaina asks,
I have a real problem. I am able to make friends, who are too low or too high, never peer. It seems to be jealousy or something. If I talk to them or share anything with them I feel all good will happen to them and something bad will happen to me. Now this thing has risen to its maximum. I don't even say hi to people around me. So I remain aloof most of time. How do I get rid of this feeling?

Dear Shaina,
Please read a lot, interact with others, circulate. You are too obsessed with yourself and imagining unwanted things. Do not allow yourself to be bogged down with petty things. There is too much to do in life and no one has time for others. I do not know how old you are but an individual has to make her own life. Please look beyond. Indulge in constructive activity, hobbies and enjoy your work or activity. You need to be occupied.


Unfold gradually

Maya asks,
My cousin who is a software engineer is very kind and soft-natured. When people meet her for the first time, they are attracted towards her and get friendly with her. Her problem she says is, she gives importance to these friendships. She is very open and honest but later she finds it difficult to maintain the friendship, as they don't show the initial interest they had. She feels when she talked less and was more of an introvert, people liked her but after she opens up the opinion changes. Can you please help her?

Dear Maya,
In other words, your cousin is unable to hold interest of others. She must cultivate the knack. She must understand the likes, dislikes, interests of the people around her. Her conversations must revolve round subjects that they would be interested in. She must also develop a sense of humour, little observation skills. She must also unfold her qualities gradually - give and buy space.

Avoid negative people

Robin Dawar asks,
I belong to a good family. I want to be happy and be positive but my family atmosphere is too negative. I tried a lot, but because of my family influence, some times I become negative. Please guide me. Second thing, whenever I meet a new person I always feel that the other person is better than me and am unable to influence him. Please help

Dear Robin,
It is a difficult situation for you. However, please try to identify positive people and be with them. Avoid negative people. This is the first step. Try to read good humorous books and look at life on a lighter vein and even laugh at yourself. Thirdly try to occupy yourself with constructive work.

Volatile mind

Anil Sharma asks,
I have a volatile mind. With high confidence, my thinking goes high and goes down when I am weak and tired. My decision making gets affected and I cannot make out what should I do and I get confused.

Dear Anil Sharma,
This is not uncommon. After you go through this kind of situation, write down the exact feelings you have had. Read it immediately after writing. Again read it after one hour and then tear off the writing. Continue this practice. Gradually a change will take place.

Self pity

Anil asks,
I find it hard to lose the present (happenings, involvement, issues) and just focus on work. I also find it hard to let go and I find myself compromising in various situations. I feel like losing the present just for the sake of unknown future. I do not find the future that is rewarding at times. Due to this I feel a lot of pressure.

Dear Anil,
You bother too much unnecessarily. Please indulge yourself in work that you enjoy. You have not mentioned your age, qualification etc. These areas will throw light on your present state of mind, only then can I be more specific. Do try to understand yourself, your priorities and move accordingly, rather than bothering yourself with such trivial issues. Sentiments and emotions are good but extreme is self destruction. Try not to have self pity. Be occupied.

Dr. Tushar Guha will answer your queries. Ask now!
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