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Perfect Punjabi wedding
Elaborate and over-the-top
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Shilarohan: Using the rock as a symbol of permanence
The bridegroom chants a 'mantra' and the bride's mother places her daughter's right foot on a stone. The rock is a symbol of stability, permanence and firmness. The bride's position in the groom's home is now permanent and together, the couple will face all of life's challenges like two solid rocks.
Lajahom: Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire
'Laja' is puffed rice, a symbol of prosperity. The bride's brother stands behind the couple while the couple faces each other. The bride places both her hands into the groom's and her brother then puts the puffed rice into them. Together they offer this 'laja' as an 'ahuti' or sacrifice into the fire amidst the chanting of mantras.
This ritual is performed three times and each time the mantras chanted have a different meaning.
Parikrama: Circumventions around the sacred fire
The couple goes around the sacred fire four times, each 'parikrama' (circumvention) strengthening the bond between them. The first three times the bride must lead the groom, as she is the embodiment of Goddess Lakshmi. It is only after the fourth 'parikrama' that she becomes the 'ardhangani' (wife) and is now her husband's responsibility. After the completion of the 'parikramas' the 'pujari' ties the bride's sari 'pallav' to the groom's 'angavastra' (a scarf tied around the shoulders), with three knots.
Saptapadi: Seven steps around the sacred fire
These are seven steps taken by the bride and groom together, each step has significance.
After the 'saptapadi' the couple takes one 'parikrama' around the fire together with neither of them leading.
Sprinkling water on the couple: Invoking blessings from deities
Older members of the groom's family sprinkle water on the couple while four 'mantras' are chanted by the 'pujari'. These prayers are recited to invoke the blessings of all the deities in the couple.
Hriday Sparshmantra: Vows taken
The bride and groom place one hand on each other's hearts and chant 'mantras' together. The meaning of these 'mantras' is - ' I am installing you in my heart from this day onwards; I will be loyal to you; this alliance is made in Heaven; let us ask the Almighty for His blessings'.
Sindoor: The groom applies vermilion on the bride
'Sindoor' or vermilion powder is the sign of a married Hindu lady. The groom applies 'sindoor' in the center parting of the bride's hair and also ties the 'mangalsutra' around her neck.
The bride and groom feed each other sweets and the 'mantras' chanted at this time hold good for both and are not one sided. It is not only the wife's duty to ensure that her husband is fed; he in turn also has to see that she has been looked after.
Dhruvnakshatra: Viewing the Pole Star
The couple is now instructed to look towards the Pole Star ('Dhruvnakshatra') amidst the chanting of 'mantras'. The Pole Star is always firm in its place and the vow means that 'I will live permanently with you'.
Arundhati Nakshatra: Invoking blessings from Arundhati and Vashisht
'Arundhati' was the wife of the sage 'Vashisht'. The 'Arundhati' and 'Vashist Nakshatras' are two stars joined together and appear as one at all times.
Ashirwaad: The blessing
Now that the marriage rites have been completed, the newly weds are blessed by all the elders. Everyone present showers coloured rice or 'akshat' on the couple.
Bidaai: Bridal send off
Before the bride leaves for her marital home, she either lights a 'mitti ka diya' (earthen lamp) in her parent's home or turns on all the lights.
What follows is the most touching and sensitive ritual of Hindu weddings, the 'lajahom'. 'Laja' or 'phulian' is puffed rice (a sign of prosperity), which the bride has to take in both her hands and shower on all her family over the top of her head. She does this all the way to the palanquin or decorated car, which is waiting to take her to her new home. By doing this she is repaying all her debts to her parents for having looked after her all these years.
On reaching her marital home, she is welcomed at the entrance, by her mother-in-law, who performs the traditional 'aarti' for her. After this, the newly wed sprinkles a little coconut oil near the door.
Kangana Kholna: Untying the bracelets
The bride and groom untie each other's bracelets in the presence of all the relatives. There is a lot of teasing and fun and frolic at this time. The bride is required to untie her husband's bracelet first.
Mooh Dikhai ki Rasm: Introducing the bride to her husband's family
Literally translated this means the 'showing of the bride' to the groom's family members, but in reality it is actually a form of introduction. The mother-in-law showers her 'bahu' (daughter-in-law) with jewellery, clothes and money at this time. The other close relatives of the family also offer her gifts and money.
Reception: Post wedding celebrations
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