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Perfect Punjabi wedding
Elaborate and over-the-top
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Punjabis are truly the most outlandish, vibrant, and jovial amongst the people of India's coterie of states and melting pot of cultures. Today's generation like their predecessors continue to follow in age old tradition especially when it comes to the actual wedding. Punjabi weddings are distinct from the traditional Arya Samaj celebration in certain regional customs such as the tying of the kaleera (special decorative danglers for the traditional chura made of gold / silver tinted foil), juta chepai (where the bride's family hides the grooms shoes), and the distribution of the kalicheri (gold rings presented by the groom to the bride's sisters).
A-Z chronography of the auspicious customs leading up to and during a Punjabi wedding.
Rokna or Thaka: Acceptance of the alliance
Rokna is an important part of the Punjabi wedding although the 'shagun' now could be any amount of money - instead of the customary Rs. 1.25, which was so common in the olden days.
Sagai: Engagement
Rings are exchanged between the bride and the groom to be, in the presence of a 'pandit' or 'pujari', close friends and relatives. The wedding day would normally be fixed after the 'sagai'.
Chunni Chadana: Dressing up and blessing of the bride
Close female relatives form the groom's home go the bride's home with what is known as the 'suhag ki pitari' (a decorated basket containing gifts from the groom's mother for the bride). These gifts usually consist of mehendi (henna), clothes, jewellery, fruits, dry fruits, dried coconut, 'chuaare' or dried dates, bangles, 'sindoor' (vermilion powder) and a red 'dupatta' or veil.
During this ceremony the ladies sing wedding songs to the beat of a 'dholak' or small drum and decorate the bride-to-be by dressing her up and draping the red 'dupatta' on her.
Mehendi: Beautification of the bride
The 'mehendi' celebration is a lighthearted affair with no religious connotation. It is usually held at the bride's home and is a daytime function. Another modern day custom practiced at 'mehendi' functions is to have a bangle seller or 'chudiwalla' adorn the hands of all the ladies present with colourful 'chudis' or bangles.
Kangna Bandhana: Tying of the symbolic bracelets on the couple's wrists
On the morning of the wedding day, the bride and the groom (each in their respective homes), has to have the sacred thread or 'mouli' tied to their right wrists. The 'mouli' has an iron 'challa' (bracelet) tied to it along with turmeric sticks, 'supari' (betel nut) and 'kaudis' (shells). The thread has to have as many knots as possible in order to make it difficult to untie later!
Chuda Chadana: Adorning the bride with the ivory bangle presented to her by her maternal uncle
Only the bride's family celebrates this ritual. The bride's maternal uncle or 'mama', gifts her a red ivory bangle or 'chuda', which the maternal aunt or 'mami' will adorn her wrists with. These days ivory has been replaced with acrylic or plastic. Four unmarried girls of marriageable age surround the bride and drape a red 'dupatta' on her while the 'mami' puts on the 'chuda' for her. The girls also adorn the bride's hands with 'kaleeras'. 'Kaleeras' are traditionally supposed to be made from pure silver but these days' people usually prefer to use the ones made from foil because 'kaleeras' are never used after a marriage.
Uptan: The haldi ceremony
One day before the actual wedding, the bride and groom (in their respective homes) are cleansed with turmeric paste. This daytime ceremony prepares both of them for the nuptials. 'Uptan' is a paste made from sandalwood, turmeric and rose water and is applied by seven married female members of the families, to the faces, hands and feet of the bride and groom.
After this ceremony the bride and the groom are barred from stepping outdoors until after the wedding ceremony. During the entire seven days of 'sangeet', which follows, they must remain indoors and are not allowed to meet each other.
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