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Marwari Wedding
Pre-wedding Rituals
The Engagement Ceremony
The engagement ceremony takes place at the home of the groom. Only the bride's father, brother and other close relatives attend this ceremony. Ladies not even the bride do not accompany the menfolk for the tika. The ceremony is so called because the bride's brother actually applies a tilak to the groom's forehead and makes the alliance or engagement official. A sword, other presents, clothes, fruits, sweets etc., are given to the groom.
Ganapati Sthapna & Griha Shanti Ceremony
Ganapati sthapana & griha shanti is the second most important ceremony performed usually a few days prior to the wedding. A havan is performed by the groom or bride's parents to propitiate the gods and an idol of Lord Ganapati is installed. All ceremonies commence only after the sthapana.
Pithi Dastoor Ceremony
The actual ceremony consists of application of turmeric and sandal wood paste to the bride/ groom who cannot leave the house once the pithi starts. The pithi dastoor at the bride's house is an elaborate affair. The bride dresses in an orange poshak and is then brought under a silken canopy, which is held with the help of swords at the four corners by four ladies who must belong to the same clan as the bride. She is brought to the ladies gathering, who then apply the paste to her. A similar ceremony takes place at the groom's as well, although it is not as elaborate. Dholans (women singers with dholak) sing auspicious prewedding songs while the ceremony is in progress.
Mehfils
Celebrations move into full swing with the women involved in merrymaking, playing dholaks and singing pre-wedding songs in the courtyard. Separate mehfils are organised for the women and the men. At the ladies' mehfil, all the womenfolk gather at a central place in an enclosed courtyard or hall. Dressed in dazzling dresses, they perform the ghoomar (a special dance done in a group). The bride at the mehfil is given an important position to sit and watch the proceedings. Of course, the men have their own mehfil, where singers perform and these are strictly all male parties.
Mahira Dastoor
It is believed that since a wedding is a time for lavish spending, the bride's and the groom's maternal uncles must help their sisters with the expenditure. A ceremony called Mahira Dastoor, in which the uncle arrives amidst gaiety and celebration, and distributes gifts and money amongst people of the house. The maternal uncle has an important role to play in a Marwari wedding.
Janev Ceremony
The groom has to be dressed in saffron robes like an ascetic and perform a havan before wearing the thread. The significance of saffron robes is that the groom now has two choices before him; either he renounces the world and becomes an ascetic, or he accepts the institution of marriage and its responsibilities. After the havan is completed and the thread given, the groom has to make a mock attempt to run from the chains of marriage while the maternal uncle must catch him and convince his nephew into accepting marriage.
Palla Dastoor
On the day of the actual wedding, or maybe a day prior to it, the palla dastoor is brought in by a few of the groom's relatives to the bride's house. The palla dastoor consists of clothes, jewellery and gifts from the groom, which the bride has to wear during the wedding ceremony. The traditional poshak or wedding dress is usually red in colour, but it could also be orange, gold yellow, or pink. In certain clans, a bright parrot green is also worn. The jewellery consists of the rakhri (a circular piece of jewellery for the forehead), danglers for the ears, the timaniyaan (a choker studded with uncut diamonds) the chooda (a set of ivory and gold bangles), the bajuband or gold and stone-studded armlets, gold anklets and the bichhiya or gold toe-rings for the feet, and the nath or the stone-studded nose-ring.
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