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Weddings in the 'Paradise of Earth'
Let's attend a Kashmiri Hindu Pundit wedding
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Wedding Rituals
Bridal wear
The bridal dress is very elaborate for the Kashmiri girls. The bride has to wear a headwear, which consists of a long cap called Kalpush . The cap is folded two to three times and lined with either silk or cotton from inside. Over the kalpush , a long piece white cloth is wrapped at the forehead in three or four layers. A white scarf, called zoojh is wrapped over the kalpush . The entire headwear is called Tarang . A belt about two meters long and one-and-a-half meters wide, known as the Haligandun , with its loose ends embroidered, is tied to the waist of the bride.
Groom's attire
Kashmiri groom usually wears a pheran and the waistband. Other add-ons include a sword at his waistband and local embroidered shoes (paazar ) at feet. Custom has it that the groom's eldest paternal uncle (chacha ) ties the turban for him, known as the gordastar with a golden thread called dov , which is used to tie a peacock feather to the gordastar .
Ceremony at the groom's house
Before marriage procession leaves for the bride's house, the groom must stand on a vyog (a decorative pattern made of rice flour and colours). He is given nabad (sugar lumps) to eat, a conch shell is sounded to announce his departure, and two rice pots containing some money are given away as alms to the poor.
Receiving the marriage procession
On arrival of the marriage procession, relatives of the bride greet the procession warmly and is announced by blowing a conch shell. The groom and bride escorted by her maternal uncle stand on the vyog that has been specially created for the occasion. The eldest female member of the family feeds nabad to the bride and the groom and kisses them on the forehead. Two rice pots are given away to the poor. The couple is led by the family purohit to the door. He performs a small ceremony here called dwar pooja before leading them to the lagan mandap .
The wedding ceremony
The purohit performs the rituals in front of a sacred fire. One of the rituals, aathwas , requires the couple to cross their arms and hold hands in this position. Their hands are covered with a cloth. According to Kashmiri folklore, the first to be able to pull out the engagement ring of the other will be the one to play a dominating role in the relationship. A mananmal , golden thread, is tied to their foreheads. The left foot of the bride and groom are placed on a kajwat or grinding stone. The first phera around the sacred fire is made by stepping on seven one-rupee coins. There are a total of seven pheras . The bride and groom feed each other some rice at the end of the ceremony.
Vidai
The newly-weds must stand on the vyog while the eldest female member of the bride's family offers them nabad thrice and kisses them on the forehead. The bride is seated in a doli or palanquin. Her relatives and friends bid her good-bye as she sets off for her new home.
Welcoming the newly-weds
The groom's eldest aunt refuses the newly-weds entry into their home until she is given cash or jewellery. The couple must stand on a specially created vyog and have nabad , offered by the groom's eldest aunt. She kisses them on the forehead. A pair of pigeons is set free to celebrate the arrival of the newly-weds. The mananmal tied on the forehead of the couple are exchanged. The aunt leads them to the kitchen where they must sit on the mud stove. The waza serves them food and the aunt feeds them. After the meal, the bride changes into the new set of clothes and jewellery, presented to her by her in-laws.
Post-wedding rituals
Satraat
The bride goes to visit her parents in the evening. Her husband and a couple of children, probably those of her sister-in-law, accompany her. The newly-weds are given new clothes on this occasion.
Phirlath
This is the ceremony that takes place when the couple visit the bride's parents for the second time. Once again, they are given new clothes to mark the occasion.
Roth Khabar
On a Saturday or Tuesday after the wedding, the bride's parents send a roth or a traditional, long freshly baked cake, to their son-in-law's family. The bride accompanies the carrier of the roth (usually her brother) back home. She stays over for a few days and returns only when her in-laws send someone to fetch her back.
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