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Hindi-Chini bhai bhai
We reveal a surprising affinity in the two cultures, especially marital rituals
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There is a lot to be said about India belonging to the geographic category of the Orient. The dis-affinity between China and India is no secret but the affinity in our cultures, especially marital rituals are not only numerous but similar to the point of being same. For the sake of clarity and context, the customs explored here are ancient and traditional but the only difference age has made to them is of dilution due to concerns of feasibility and minor changes to avoid obsoleteness. The intent and thrust of each custom and ritual have remained the same.
Purpose: Beginning from the beginning, as per the mechanism of a collectivist society, in the Indian as well as the Chinese context, marriages were meant to bring together two families. The purpose was to secure inheritance, maintain honour and continue the lineage through procreation. Marriages for love, which are a western concept, were un-heard of.
Fixing an alliance: In traditional India as well as China, before the advent of the western influence, the families chose the suitable bride and groom for their offspring. In a traditional set-up, the first step is a formal proposal or request sent by the groom's family to the bride's through the go-between. If accepted, horoscopes are matched by an astrological expert, just as in India. The Chinese kundli consists of a formal document made from the eight characters constituted by the year, month, date and hour of the birth of the bride and groom. If the astrologer finds the horoscopes compatible the alliance was fixed by both parties and initial gifts of cash, food etc are presented, what is popularly called in India as shagun . The wedding date is fixed by an astrological aspect after consulting the Chinese calendar similar to the Hindu tradition of selecting an auspicious date based on the Hindu calendar.
Predominance of red: The presence of the colour red in a Chinese marriage is even today all-pervasive. As in the Indian culture, 'red' is symbolic of joy as well as in auspicious functions as these, it is meant to ward off evil influences as well. Similarly, white is its anti-thesis and used to express sorrow hence it is a complete no-no at weddings. The emphasis on red in a Chinese wedding is such that beginning from the bride and groom's wedding dresses to decorations and gifts wraps and cash envelopes, most things are in red.
Dowry: An unspoken necessity, the bride's dowry was sent to the groom's place a day in advance of the wedding and like in India, consisted of valuable items like jewellery, precious stones, embroidered beddings, kitchen items, furniture etc. Of course, the nature of the gifts changed according to the ages but the systems still persists in traditional societies and countrysides as in India, despite its volatile and dubious nature.
Pre-Wedding rituals: The preparation for the Chinese wedding constitutes myriad rituals, small and big which include symbolic ones like the hair-combing ritual for the bride and capping ritual for the groom which symbolises the attainment of adulthood. The installation of the bridal bed to receive the bride does not find an echo in Indian culture. But what is strikingly similar is reception of the bride by the groom. As is wont in Indian marriages the groom's party comes to the bride's house amidst fanfare and celebration to take the bride away. Not only is this Chinese version of our baraat an arresting similarity but so is the manner. As the Indian bride goes away in the doli (of course now it's a car) so does the Chinese groom takes away his bride in a sedan chair carried by attendants. The only difference and a glaring one is that in the Indian context the groom takes the bride home once they are married and in the Chinese context he takes her home to be married. Yet, in either case the groom has to first negotiate the bride's maid and in the Indian context, her friends and relatives as well, before he can take his bride home. Red packets containing cash are given away as price for taking his bride. In China there are elaborate door games that the bride's side plays with the groom in order to let him access to the bride.
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