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Significance of cereals
Grains continue to signify their importance during the bidaai or farewell of the bride from her parent's home and also during the welcome into her new home.
- The bride throws a handful of grains over her shoulder during the bidaai to signify that she is returning to her family whatever wealth she has partaken of in the course of her maiden life. By doing so, she also blesses her home and wishes for them prosperity.
- In some communities, a mitti-ka-bartan (earthen pot) and a plate of wheat grains need to be placed in the bridal room as they signify fertility and prosperity. The newly weds offer puja here as they start their new life together. This is called maatha tekna.
- The measure of the bride's compatibility with her mother-in-law also seems to revolve around a handful of grains. Amongst Punjabis, the bride takes a handful of grains from a plate and passes it onto her mother-in-law who then passes it back to her. The exchange takes place five times and the amount retained in the end is believed to measure compatibility.
Partaking cereals in meals
In the second form of usage, grains are consumed by both the bridal couple and the relatives and guests at the wedding.
- Most Indian communities originally used to feed the bridal couple boiled rice with milk and sugar, which gradually evolved into the delicacy - kheer.
- Amongst Kashmiris, for the Shagun ceremony, the Vaza or cook prepares a porridge made from rice and finely chopped intestines of the goat. This special delicacy is fed to all the guests and relatives. During the 'Shagun', 'badias' are cooked once again. The lady who prepares the dough for the 'badias' has a special task - in a terracotta dish she places the rice, 'badias', salt and money and holds this on her shoulder while she kneads the dough for the 'badias'. This spread of rice, 'badias', salt and money is known as the "ZUNG". The Zung is then given away to the poor and needy as a gesture of goodwill.
- Some communities serve wedding feast on banana leaves following a particular method. Cooked 'tur dal' (lentils) is served on the right lower corner of the leaf followed by 'halwa' (a sweet dish) 'pachadi' (raita or yogurt), chutney, two dry vegetables, gun powder or curry leaf powder, fryums made of white pumpkin, rice fryums and papad, pickle and salt. The above items are served all around the leaf till the left corner. Then mixed rice or vegetable 'pulao' is served in the center of the leaf and curd 'vada' next to that. Two dry sweets - 'bobatlu' (pancakes made of corn flour with cooked 'chana dal' (chikpeas) and jaggery, or boorelu), cooked 'chana dal' and jaggery stuffing made into round balls dipped in 'urad dal' (lentils) batter and deep fried, 'laddus' (round sweets made from gram flour, sugar and 'ghee' or clarified butter) are served in a cup. This is how the leaf is set and made ready before the guests are seated to enjoy the meal. After this elaborate meal, 'paan' (betel leaves) and nuts are served.
- Bengalis have a ceremony called "Bau Bhat". It is on this day that the bride is formally accepted by all her husband's relatives. The bride personally serves elaborate rice dishes to all the elderly members of the family for lunch. It is at this time that the groom avows to take on the 'bhat' and 'kapood bhar nilan' (literally translated it means - taking on the responsibility of providing food, shelter and clothing for his wife).
- Of course the most popular form in which the mandatory cereal is consumed is the wedding cake - a custom adopted from the West.
- The cake of yesteryears however was a far cry from the dreamy looking concoction of today. It was meant to be dry and crumbly and was simply broken over the bride's head for good luck!
- Traditionally, the cake also contained a thimble, which was supposed to indicate which of the brides' friends was next in line at the altar, by simply landing up in her piece of cake.
- Cakes are gaining more popularity in India and it is not uncommon to see a demure, sari-clad bride clasping her husband's hand over the cake knife.
And for the unmarried ladies, there's yet another significance that cereals hold... the belief that if you take a piece of wedding cake and place it under your pillow you will find the man of your dreams!
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Pooja Mittal-Aggarwal
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