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Lone rangers
A salute to all single moms
Payal* lost her husband a few years ago. He died a sudden death due to a heart attack. She was left with two daughters, one 16 and the other only 7. Says Payal, "Both my daughters were extremely close to their father. Just a few days before he passed away, both the girls and my husband had enjoyed themselves over a weekend without me. All of a sudden, when he left us, they did not understand what was happening." She says it was not only them who were in shock. She, too, was absolutely unprepared to face what had happened that fateful morning and everything that followed. "My older daughter managed somehow. Not much was spoken. She seemed to have understood. But, my younger daughter took time to understand what had happened." There were psychiatric appointments that they went for. Those helped too. But, the real victory for them lay in the fact that they set their lives back on track in a few months and today Payal is a principal at a school, and both her daughters are doing very well in their academics.
How do the children feel about being brought up solely by their mothers? Actress Antara Mali has said in an interview, "One loving person is the family norm today. Instead of warring parents or family members who demonstrate that life is a constant battle, just one person who can provide love, peace and support is far better for a growing child. My mother Pratibha brought me up single-handedly and I share a special bond with her."
When model turned actress Sandali Sinha lost her father (an Air Force officer) in a road accident. her mother was left alone with the responsibility of three children. Said Sandali in an earlier interview, "My inspiration in life is my mother. All along my struggle in life, my mother backed me up. Mom struggled to make us capable and strong throughout her life; and now that she isn't physically present with us anymore, I still believe that she is taking care of all the obstacles that we may face." Sandali, who was very close to her mother believes in God and destiny. "I try to live by the principles that my mother imbibed in me. I know she watches me and will be with me, through all the turbulence that I may face in life. All my achievements are dedicated to her," she said with a lot of pride.
The double role of a mother and a father is not child's play. It can be very draining, both mentally and physically. Living up to expectations, filling up the vacuum the child feels on not having a father, fulfilling all the demands, lending a ear, managing the finances, paying bills, attending PTA meetings - it is a lot of work for a mom.
Someone has rightly said, "A mother is that bank where we deposit all our hurts and worries." A single mom has been there by her child's side through life's highs and lows, she has seen her child struggle with his homework, she has helped him get up after he's fallen off his bike, she's cooked his favourite food for him on his birthday and most importantly, she has been his father.
To all you brave hearts... Happy Mother's Day
* - Name changed on request
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