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Shaaditimers » Member-contribution » Nri-groom-050630
 
Why is there a craze for NRI grooms?

Col Unni says,
In the common man / woman's psyche in India, NRIs stand for smartness, adventure, youth, health, mirth and jollity, freedom from wants. Hitching one's fortunes to an NRI band-wagon offers many, an opportunity to travel to new lands, climes and cultures, to open up one's life to everything exciting . Danger is part of adventure and only enhances excitement . The brave always revelled in the fear of the unknown and courted uncertainties. This is not a crass craze but an inbuilt almost instinctive tendency of the human being. To be curious and try to satisfy their curiosity is a basic human instinct that make even the pursuit of science a daring pioneering effort.

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For normal girls, who haven't the education to qualify for seeking a job abroad but who still nurse the secret desire to go and see places if someone is there to take them for a ride. (The pun is intended).

Left on their own the girls will throw caution to the winds and take their chances with the first NRI that comes across them, especially the most curious girls who would have become good scientists or adventurists otherwise had they pursued those lines. There is no immaturity about such a yearning. Which mature developed man or woman hasn't got the desire to go abroad wherever and whoever they are, be it in the first world or third world or the second world country?

Every rich man in any country is flying abroad at the first chance, may be to return or not to return. Who wouldn't want to go out there and see the world? Who wouldn't want to climb the hill and look a little farther out? Who wouldn't want to go to the moon dangers not withstanding? Its silly to ask questions like, why do you want to climb the Everest, or to visit the moon or go to another country meet different people from different cultures?

Its not because our culture is not sufficiently rich or varied or that our men when they are in India or the women when they are in India, are less attractive that any woman or man goes after NRIs. Marriage is just another route through which young men and women can gain access to realms beyond one's shores.

And, smart men and women do exploit that option to satisfy their sense of wonder. Sometimes the worried parents' oft quoted adage that "curiosity kills the cat" is of not such a weighty consideration when one is young, daring and raring to go and test one's mettle against the unknown.

The bottom line is that its a natural human tendency and not a craze or an abnormality to nurse the desire to go to farther lands, be it man or woman. Its not a crime nor does it require to be defensive about it. Women often achieve their desires and aims through marriage as men achieve theirs by education. This desire to travel out to far off lands is sometimes called the wanderlust. Every experience is an arch through which one passes to ever-widening horizons "to seek to strive and to find" as Lord Alfred Tennyson so aptly put it in his celebrated poem "ULYSSES".
Manoj J says,
NRI-non-resident Indian, the keyword here is Indian. I wonder those unhappy stories u wrote of brides being short changed by NRI grooms, are those grooms Indian born and new immigrants to those foreign lands or were they born and bred overseas?

There is a difference, an Indian grown NRI brings his culture and experience both good n bad to his adopted land, a born and bred foreigner learns his experience from that foreign land, the culture, work ethics, etc etc....

People ask me are u Indian? I say no I' m not by nationality but by race I am. I differentiate myself in this way...

Indian people say I' m an NRI and they are wary of me, but those unhappy stories they tell are of Indians cheating their own people.. (Indian immigrants who r settled overseas)

Strange I think. But I don't blame Indians to be a suspicious lot, cos they may live in an environment that does not build trust... From some places I visited, there is always "an extra charge" for things for no reason. "bas lagte hai.." Some people making empty promises, they say something but deliver something else.. Does this sound familiar?? Is it Indian culture? Way of life?

Perhaps it may not be that Indian brides want an NRI groom for the comforts of life, maybe they just don't like the culture, and the men in their own land. I can't say it as a rule but I have heard of comments to that effect.


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