"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"They say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
That's not as bad as it sounds,
considering that the other 50% end in death."
"I think that men who have a pierced ear are better tablepared to be married:
they are already acquainted with pain and have already bought jewels.".
"There's only two things about me that my wife doesn't care for:
- everything I say, and
- everything I do."