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'Each generation is a new people,' observed Alexis de Tocqueville.
This being the case ShaadiTimes takes a ring-side view at three generations- kal, aaj aur kal . How different is Gen X from their parents and grandparents? On what issues do they differ most and on what least?
Every generation is a melting pot of different kinds of people. Attitudes, mindsets and ideologies reflect each generation's interpretation of life.
In triple speak no one generation is either right or wrong. It is a point of view.
Would you feel insecure if your wife earns more?
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Aritra Dutta, engineering student
I think there is nothing wrong in this situation. Relationships do not depend on how much we earn individually. It is all about passion and love which binds a relationship. So she may be more talented than me and may be more successful in her career or may earn a bit more but that would not affect our relationship. If we love each other then these material aspects cannot give rise to insecurity or frustration. This might happen if a relationship hovers around money because I believe insecurity happens in business not in a marital relation.
Rajesh Kumar, actor
I would be more than happy if my wife starts earning more than me. Instead of feeling insecure I would feel more relaxed as all the pressure of earning all the comforts in life would not be only on my shoulder. (laughs) Now it depends on person to person how he may tackle such a situation. Practically speaking, there might be ego clashes or inferiority complex and frustration in a man as our sanskar has always taught that men are superheroes and bread winners of the family. But personally I feel I would be happy as long as I go out and work. I always encourage both husband and the wife to be working as this saves a lot of clashes at home when both of them are busy with their own work throughout the day.
Mahesh Bhatkar, businessman
I am married for 12 years now but till now we never had any misunderstandings relating monetary matters. I don't feel that if my wife starts earning more it will hurt my dignity. It is wrong even to think this way. There is no competition going on between me and my wife. If she earns more it would help in planning for a better future. May be if she earns more then she would have to spend more time at office and would not be able to devote more time for our child or family, but I would not ask her to sacrifice her career for this. In that case we will have to plan for some alternative. Maybe I can take up a part time and look after our child.
Expert speak
Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat, marriage counsellor
Men need to be really secure and comfortable in a relationship to begin with. It is not money that will shake the relationship, so much as the power, attitude and involvement of women with their work and the distance they might create in their relationship. If women are conscious of the needs of their relationship, it is important that they also stay alert to those needs.
Indian marriages and the role of women have evolved tremendously over the last 10 years. Men need to catch up with this sociological change, the sooner the better. Men need to feel comfortable and accept this new age women who still can wear a saree and crack a software program code. Men should rise up and feel less intimidated by salary figures and marry the person in whom they find the qualities that appeal to them.
The key to stay away from complexities is to steer away from stereotypes and give your relationship a benefit of doubt. If the man is not comfortable and truly happy in his wife's growth and career, then yes, there will be complexities. There are however men, who take great pride in supporting their wives and in fact are one of the core reasons for a woman's success at work place.
More time spent at work and less time on relationship might create room for inferiority complex or ego clashes. To avoid this, you need to often tell yourself and each other that you love and respect your partner and that this growth in career is attributed to the care and support one receives from each other.
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