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Love » Triple-speak » Domestic-violence-061205
 
How would you handle domestic violence? Priya Bhandari Sushmita Mukherjee Ms Lydia Carvallo Priya Bhandari, teacher
I believe the one who tolerates and the one who inflicts domestic violence both share the same crime. In a marriage love definitely matters, but respect for each other matters much more. If your husband abuses you physically, or even verbally, it only shows that he does not know your worth and does not deserve you. You should not let him spoil your life. You should leave him immediately and should not look back. Being emotional would not help. Be practical and start a new life.

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Sushmita Mukherjee, actress
Domestic violence should be dealt at three levels - physical, psychological and spiritual. Physical in the sense that the victim should never be at home alone with the abuser. But if the villain happens to be her husband, then she has little choice. At the psychogical level, she should analyse the situation and weigh different options to find out the best way to handle the situation. She should also confide to a neutral third party instead of close friends or relatives who would obviously be biased and would become very sentimental. If need be, she should force, bully or cajole her husband to go to a counsellor or psychiatrist. She can also seek help from women help centres. And finally she should deal with the situation at the spiritual level by not running away from the situation. Her actual victory lies in converting your husband to a normal, loving and caring being.

Ms Lydia Carvallo, housewife
Women should never bow down to abuse in any relationship, even if it is with her husband. She should be strong and should stand up against the violence inflicted on her instead of being meek. She should be brave enough to take it up as a challenge. If she becomes soft and tries to give her husband a chance, it would be a mistake as the case would never resolve. There are several mahila mandals who counsel women to fight for her rights. It is not advisable to go to the police or media at first. You should go to them only if the situation goes beyond control.

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