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Lessons From The KS Part 8
The Run Up To Sex
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 According to the Kama Sutra, 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' scenarios are a strict no-no. Instead, it proposes a slow build up to and cooling down after sex. Here's how you should go about doing it!
Arrange to meet your date or partner in a special place that boasts of excellent décor, sweet fragrance, or delightful floral arrangements, or all these put together.
Offer her a drink and put her at her ease. Chat about nothing in particular. Appreciate the fabric and cut of her clothes, her hair-do, and so on. The secret is not to zero in on touchy-feely moves or sex, even if these occupy your mind!
The build up to the moment
Vatsyayana advises that you talk together about things that you have done together before, joking and titillating, touching upon all sorts of things hidden and obscene. In short, it is important to be suggestive without offending or scaring her away.
Introduce singing or instrumental music, and perhaps dancing. Converse about fine arts or whatever is of her interest.
Your first advance should be subtle - loosen her hair, or her waistband, or gently embrace her with one arm while continuing to chat. After this, whether you take things forward slowly or in haste should strictly depend on her response.
When your passion ebbs
It is equally important to keep up the connection after having sex, the idea being to say that even though your passion may have temporarily cooled, your love is strong and you genuinely care for her satisfaction. The Kama Sutra suggests a man gently massages his woman using fragrant oil. Then drink fruit juice together or feed each other exotic snacks.
If it's a moonlit night, lie together in the moonlight and share anecdotes. To quote Vatsyayana, "Even at the end, love enhanced by thoughtful acts, and words and deeds exchanged in confidence, gives rise to the highest ecstasy."
While it isn't essential for this ecstasy to set in motion another round of love-making - though it may well do that - this togetherness bodes well to cement your relationship.
This emphasis on the starting and ending of sex keeps your woman in her comfort zone, and thus helps increase her faith and confidence in you and herself - leading to uninhibited, more enjoyable sex.
Quite in contrast with the 'wham bam thank you ma'am' approach of instant sex, which is a huge put-off for women, slow beginnings and definite endings to sex make for a lasting, healthy and happy sex life.
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Also Read
Lessons From The KS - Kissing Part 1
Lessons From The KS - Kissing Part 2
Lessons From The KS - Selecting Your Man
Lessons From The KS - Embracing
Lessons From The KS - An Ideal Wife
Lessons From The KS - A Bond That Lasts A Lifetime
Lessons From The KS - Men - That Women Love (Part I)
Lessons From The KS - Men - That Women Love (Part II)
Lessons From The KS - Give Him What He Wants
Lessons From The KS - Is She Your Kind Of Woman?
Lessons From The KS -Is It Over?
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