 When it comes to the "L" word men unlike the fairer sex tend to get tongue-tied. Let's run through this one more time with a little deja vu for those that have already crossed the threshold and may have forgotten the "I love you" jitters before the words came out.
Hello...Ahem...Cough?
Yes most experts would agree when serious commitment is moving forward to matrimony that is probably the most difficult if not the most difficult moment in a man's life especially if he is in a "love" relationship. Men and commitment aren't as easy a fit or a synonym as perhaps for women where emotional quotient adds up to I love you.
Here are Shaaditimes top 10 ways men avoid saying "I love you."
10. Changing the topic- Most guys are brilliant at changing the focus of
attention on to something else. If you're flipping through a magazine you may want to buy her something, telling her she looks like a movie-star, or simply start talking about something else. If she's intuitive she may corner you on this one and repeat her comment at which point we proceed to the next way.
9. Timing - One of the best defense mechanisms a guy has to avoid saying
the "L" word is timing. "It's too early in our relationship." Or "Let's give it some more time." Or "can we discuss this later." And on to eight.
8. Kiss- A kiss is the best distraction a man can use to avoid saying
the "L" word. Kiss her long and deep. Comment on the smell of her hair, perfume, her perfectly manicured hands. Make her feel secure. If this doesn't work its on to seven.
7. Humour- If all else has failed till now. Tickle her. A giggle here and
there may lead to a pillow fight more kissing and skirting around the topic of true love until the morning. Try it and on to six.
6. Less commitment- "I really love...being with you too." Or "I really care
about you too. Now where were we going for dinner?" If she's sharp she'll catch you red-handed. If she wants the long-term commitment and doesn't want to risk an open discussion she may buy it for a short while. But word of advise buddy if you're not in love it might be a time to re-evaluate the status of your "serious commitment" to one and other.
5. Cry- Women love the sensitive type according to US relationship
expert Dr. Ruth. If you can't muster the words, and you're scared you're going to get walloped if you don't react or say something. And you still want to continue with the relationship. Cry. You may want to tell her you've never had the love of a real woman. You're mother never loved or looked after you. And that she is the one. Remember you still haven't said the "L" word yet.
4. Let's talk- Oh, oh...this could go either way. "Let's talk" could mean
that he is open to the "love quotient" being added to the recipe of the relationship. Or it could mean just that it's time to clear the air...and let the grey zone become transparent. In a situation like this if it's a clearing up type scenario, Shaaditimes advises that you don't take any drastic decision. Men, according to many relationship experts, only realise the worth of the word "love", "commitment", and "matrimony" sometimes after the fact. Maybe give him a couple of weeks.
3. Return with the question, "What is love?" Philosophising always
softens the crunch. It also can turn into a heated argument on the values system in a relationship. "From what is just being friends?" to "we are seriously committed to one and other" to "When are we going to tell everyone we are an item?" to "I love you." Here you may be either hugged to death, and made a five course meal or in contrast you could get cursed, get called a lot of names that may not be too nice to repeat such as heartless, an oaf, and a woman user. Other words in the lexicon could include: chicken, insensitive, cruel, and worst of the worst you could hear the words creep as the door slams.
2. Friends- You could counter her comment "I love you" with "Let's
just be friends." This would be a little serious and may lead to tears...consolation...and friendship. Or it may just lead to you being slapped or having your foot stomped on as your girlfriend leaves.
1. Honesty- Here you could be brutally truthful and just say the truth...
"I don't love you." Or you could try one last fake...and mouth the words..."Olive juice". It looks I love you. And at that point you may want to wait and clarify the truth at a later date. If honesty prevails than obviously it wasn't love, and you did the decent and noble thing on calling it off at the onset before emotions ran astray and feelings got wounded and hurt.
Where to leave those love notes...
- On an egg in the refrigerator
- Inside a book your spouse is reading
- On the refrigerator door
- On your mate's pillow
- In one of your spouse's shoes
- On the computer or television
- On the dashboard of your spouse's car
- Inside your partner's favourite glass
- In one of your partner's drawers
- Tucked inside a CD or DVD plastic sleeve
- On the bathroom mirror
- Via email or cell phone message
- Inside one of the coat pockets
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