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Calling A Long Shot
Tips to seal the love that is miles apart
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 A recent survey by Stephen Blake, the author of the best selling Loving Your Long Distance shows more than 10 million couples worldwide are coping with long distance relationships (LDRs) and that number is increasing daily! New lovers who meet on-line scribble love notes, students in foreign universities write love mails to their hometown honeys, executives climb the corporate ladder while their true love waits for their call hundreds of miles away and the list goes on...
Here are a few tips to seal the love that is miles apart.
- Trust: This is the key to all relationships, more so, in a long distance relationship where you can't keep a track of each other's life in details. You would be more likely to feel 'low' and lonely at times but do not take advantage of your partner's absence by dating someone else. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and could give rise to deceit. Also remember that suspicion will only break the relationship down. So do not assume things without any basis. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you both and none of the above will help the relationship survive.
- Keep in touch: LDRs cannot exist without regular communication. To make these moments truly special, schedule a routine time to call and focus, entirely on your partner, during the conversation. As this becomes routine, you'll find yourself looking forward to your time together - just like in a face-to-face date.
Make your partner a part of your life even if he is miles apart. Share, seemingly, unimportant things like the events of the day or meeting your other friends. This would help your partner to feel secured and satisfied. It is also very important to call up at least once a day to reassure your presence in his / her life. If large phone bills are a concern, send e-mails, letters, or cards. Be creative and romantic with the way you keep in touch like calling up just to say 'I love you', sending love letters and poems, having flowers and gifts delivered or even sending a recorded cassette of your voice with a loving message. By reminding your partner how much you love and care for her would strengthen your bond.
- Keep misunderstandings at bay: Be very clear about your expectations from the relationship. Uncertainty like, 'Do I still love him?' Or, 'Is this relationship still worthwhile?' are normal in the initial stage. They will pass. But if such questions come to your mind repeatedly speak to your partner. Do not keep him in dark. Since LDRs take away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate, whenever you desire, misunderstandings and misinterpretations are very common. So the way of communication is very crucial. Be very careful with your tone of speech and express openly how much you care. Also you cannot be a good lover without being a good listener. Show your affection by being very attentive to your partner's thoughts, feelings, and concerns. If you are in a meeting and know that your partner might call up, let her know in advance so that she is not disappointed.
- Plan a surprise visit: This would give you the opportunity to catch up on each other's life in person and to be able to share physical and intimate moments together. Visiting each other, specially during occasions or festivities, adds an extra charm to the special days. Having a weekend getaway or vacation together can help recharge the relationship and reinforce your commitment.
At times when you cannot plan a visit, schedule long distance dates. Make arrangements to do fun things like take a stroll in a park, sit under the moonlight, spend a day at the beach, read to each other, attend exhibits, and watch a movie while on the phone with one another.
- Focus on the future: Make plans to live in the same city eventually. Setting a limit of how long you will be apart is a wise thing to do if you do not want to end up waiting forever.
Yes, it's rough being apart, but it is confirmed that absence really does make the heart grow fonder!
Here are some of the positive aspects of LDRs:
- Proximity can lead to boredom and can stifle a relationship while members of LDRs usually savour and happily anticipate hearing the sound of their partner's voice.
- Dating with distance gives both partners time and space. An LDR is perfect for someone who deeply values independence and autonomy.
- LDRs encourage a slower development of the relationship. This allows for introspection and an honest assessment of feelings for a partner as time goes on.
- LDRs also tend to inspire more creativity. Partners may meet at adventurous half-way points, indulge in romantic letter writing, and plan exciting outings while they are together.
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