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Ready for a live-in relationship?
5 helpful tips for a great beginning
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 India is finally growing up as live-in relationships are not only making news but also making laws. Recently the Domestic Violence Act has been amended to protect the rights of the live-in female partner. Thus, though unofficially, live-in relationships are finally getting the government nod.
In recent times the number of unmarried couples living together has increased tenfold. Yet despite this growing number, it is found that cohabiting before marriage increases a couple's risk for divorce. This is because the live-in relationship (also known as common-law in many countries) is very critical and sensitive where you see your partner beyond those oh-so-romantic candle light dinners and your regular coffee shops meets. You see her struggling in the kitchen sans make-up and with a flying temper. You see him with his wild mood swings and daily dose of cricket mania. So before you set off to share your address with your partner, keep in mind these helpful tips for a great beginning.
Checkmate: It is very important to check with your partner why he wants to start a live-in relationship. This is because while some people feel that living common-law, without the sanctity of marriage is the pre-marriage step, others tend to see living together as something they do before making any commitment. Experts caution that at this stage it is important to have common objectives.
If your objective is not identical you are bound to end up with heartbreak. Also it is found that people who live with more than one partner in their lifetimes have a greater chance of getting a divorce. Meaning that if you are a "serial cohabitant," it might be a sign that you have problems with commitment. So stay away from such people.
Joint venture: Choose the new home together. Be sure it suits both of you in terms of distance from the workplace. Or else very soon one of you would end up being exhausted at the end of the day. Also contribute fairly to the home expenses. Though it is probable that both would not have the same income level, but a fair contribution from two purses will make bring down the complaint list at the end of the day.
Critical changes: Lifestyle changes are bound to happen. There would also be more expectations. She might expect him to stop going out every night to bars. He might expect her to start cooking more meals. Also you might end up forgetting those romantic two-some moments with the daily routine. Make sure you arrange for a formal date at least once every week to keep your relationship sweet and fresh. The only way you two can find a happy life together is to discuss and understand these expectations.
Keep off children: Experts advise that children in a common-law relationship can make it more complicated, but bringing children both his and hers does not make the relationship insurmountable. If you both have reached this point chances are you'll be able to work-out the rest. With complications the likelihood of a break-up, however, does increase among cohabiting partners according to some experts. The good points- a nurturing environment for children with a set of parents and new siblings. The bad points- more arguments, more adjusting, and more complications. Also remember the break-up of any relationship has a devastating effect on children be it a marriage or a live-in arrangement. Research also shows that children living with a mother's boyfriends are at higher risk of sexual abuse and physical violence than children who live with married parents depending on the age of the children.
Time limit: Most people set a time limit on how long the living together phase will last although this isn't a pre-requisite and many live-in relationships have extended to a lifetime and outlasted formal marriages. If you decide to set a time-frame then try and stick to it. This would help you to gage the sincerity and commitment level of your partner. Experts warn that although you may feel secure in your common-law arrangement- emotional and spiritually, it is best to check with your country's law regarding property rights, common assets etc... In the event you decide against formalising your arrangement into a legal marriage. Any other threats emotional or otherwise would be individual and irrelevant to the common-law relationship.
Warning Signs
- Higher break up rate
- Emotional insecurity
- Does not necessarily lead to marriage
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