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Lessons From The KS Part 14: Go Betweens

Lessons From The KS Part 14: Go Betweens Some women are bold, others are shy. In the case of the latter, you're more likely to need a female messenger to help push your case.

A female messenger could be anyone - from your mother, to your sister, to a friend or even a servant. Of course, the role of the messenger will differ, depending on the nature of your relation with your intended, the confidence you repose in the messenger, and how well the messenger knows you and your intended.

Fully authorized messengers

For instance, your friend may be very trustworthy and known to both of you, hence be what the Kama Sutra calls a fully authorized messenger - someone who understands the goal that is in the minds of both the man and the woman and then by her own intelligence undertakes to bring it about.

She knows exactly what to say or do, to further your cause, by selling your strengths - family background, character, looks - and showing how accurate your liaison would be for both of you.


Letter carriers

A fully authorized messenger is thus entirely different from a mere letter or gift carrier, who could be a servant doing your bidding.

A messenger who merely relays communiqu?s is useful when you and your intended have established deep feelings for each other, but simply need assistance to connect.

Messengers with limited authority

Then again, if from signals exchanged you know your prospective is interested, but haven't interacted too frequently with her, you could use a messenger with limited authority. According to Vatsyayana, she is someone who knows just one part of the courtship and completes the rest.

A messengers' job may be said to be done when you meet with your prospective who by now thinks positively about you and a relationship with you. It is upto the messenger to excite the woman about you. A messenger gauges her success by your intended's response to her descriptions.

Skilled versus dangerous messengers

Consider this dialogue - "Listen, you are lucky in love, but this is an extraordinary thing. That man over there, the son of such a good family, is a lover who fell madly in love with you at first sight. Since he is very delicate by nature, and has never been afflicted like this before, by anyone else, he is suffering terribly, burning up. It is therefore quite possible that he will even die of this today."

It includes shoals of exaggeration, but chances are that this message will do the job especially when its variations are repeated again and again.

Just the same, the Kama Sutra suggests you beware of a man or woman who appears to desire to help you, but could have devious motives. A male friend could simply want to ruin your chances, as he covets your prospective. Or a female friend could desire you, and hence want to put your intended off you.

It's all very well to use an intermediary, but as this is all a part of playing the right cards, delegate this delicate job only to your most trustworthy confidantes.

P.S. Vatsyayana actually distinguished between making general advances and expressing an interest in a 'virgin.' That's a tad tame an expression to use in our modern world but nevertheless, next week, we discuss the methods of interacting and understanding a woman who seems less experienced.

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