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Lessons From The KS Part 5: An Ideal Wife
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 What man doesn't desire an ideal wife? But it's hard for women to know exactly what qualifies as ideal, especially in times when they juggle the management of home, career, children and husband. What does the Kama Sutra say about this?
The Kama Sutra is as much a treatise on the art of living as it is on the expression of sexuality. Apparently, Vatsyayana had a definite opinion on the equation between man and woman, and the behaviour of a wife and husband.
Of course, while much of his advice relates to social mores prevailing in his times, there are undoubtedly a few nuggets of advice that would make for a healthy and happy marital relation even today.
As they say, there's no harm in taking a few tips off a rich man's table...
Kitchen supremacy
They say the road to a man's heart is through his stomach. Perhaps that's why so many women go out of their way, cooking up a range of delicacies to cajole him, placate him, impress him, convince him (that she is always right!) and so on.
Vatsyayayna too, has a word for a wives supremacy in the kitchen but peppers it with caution, saying that when she prepares meals, she not only finds out what he likes and what he dislikes, but also what is good and what is bad for him. So lay off the samosas and kachoris, if he's regularly giving the gym a miss!
Indulge within limits
Next consider family finances. Even in those ancient times, Vatsyayana envisaged a woman taking an active part in the management of household finances. According to him, a wife plays the major role of calculating the annual family income and subsequently, appropriately adjusting the family expenditure.
She also oversees the buying and selling of stocks of investment goods (wines and liquors in those days), and tracks the family income netted in this fashion. As far as her own indulgences are concerned, moderation is the key. Enjoy, but within limits!
Dealing with in-laws
Okay - so this is a sticky subject. My people, your people and all that sometimes makes for major differences of opinion that are hard to reach across. You'll be interested to know that Vatsyayana had quite a practical perspective on this. A husband's older relatives, servants, sisters and their husbands should be treated according to their merit.
A step further, even while he suggested that a wife shouldn't talk back to her father- and mother-in-law, he opined that she should make brief, gentle conversations with them. Apparently, less is more when it comes to in-laws. Focus on spending quality time with them, not lengthy stays when you're likely to get on each others' nerves.
P.S. So much for food, family and finances - but what about the real thing - the relation between husband and wife? Catch our next instalment for that.
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Also Read
Lessons From The KS - Kissing Part 1
Lessons From The KS - Kissing Part 2
Lessons From The KS - Selecting Your Man
Lessons From The KS - Embracing
Lessons From The KS - A Bond That Lasts A Lifetime
Lessons From The KS - Men - That Women Love (Part I)
Lessons From The KS - Men - That Women Love (Part II)
Lessons From The KS - The Run Up To Sex
Lessons From The KS - Give Him What He Wants
Lessons From The KS - Is She Your Kind Of Woman?
Lessons From The KS -Is It Over?
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