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Perfect 10 For A Good Marriage Part VI
Creativity
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Don't Let Your Marriage Fall Prey To Boredom!
Lapsing into the humdrum of everyday living is a real marriage dampener. Fortunately, you can rely on your creative juices to pump some adrenalin back into your married life.
You were at your creative best when wooing her. She too, outshone herself, applying new ways to keep you tantalized. Thus far, your love life was hunky dory! Sadly though, the intensity of the 'thrill' you felt lessened after your honeymoon. Was the fizz of your romance lost to the mundane character of everyday life?
What often starts as a reluctance to make the first move may worsen over time, leaving you both wondering what happened? The answer is simple - blame the boring state of your marital affairs on an absence of creativity. It's amazing how, just as we turn away from inanimate objects - like music or clothes - that don't appeal any more, relationships too sometimes seem a chore - not worth 'dressing up' for. But if not tackled, this situation can spell doom for your marriage.
Put some pizzazz back into your married life
Fact is - every relation, more so a marriage needs to be infused with regular bursts of life-giving creativity. Creativity isn't only what paints a canvas - it is also what keeps the excitement, and your hormones flowing!
If you're thinking 'Why should I bother?' consider this - would you enjoy watching the same movie, over and over again, day after day? Obviously not! Apply this natural desire for newness to your love life. Would you like to be made love to, in the same way, everyday (or whenever!), such that you end up relating 'sex' with a series of standard moves? I'd say not!
But that's exactly what happened to Ashima. After a year of married life, she shared her frustration with a close friend. "Intimacy with Rohit," she confided, "has become like replaying a video cassette every day." Fortunately for Ashima, her wise friend asked, "Do you share your fantasies and desires with Rohit?"
Ashima hadn't. She had kept her thoughts - she had plenty of ideas (!) - to herself, thinking these would shock Rohit. But in the process, she effectively shut Rohit out of her fantasy world. He thought she only 'needed' what he gave her - so he too, shied away from suggesting more.
Don't be a wet blanket
In any marriage, communication is a prerequisite to 'think creatively,' and creativity is what makes communication richer and more effective. Censoring your thoughts puts paid to creativity - you'll find that this saps the energy, and liveliness from your marriage.
In fact, creativity isn't something you should relate only to intimacy. A good marriage is all about using creativity to resolve conflicts, or work out mutually acceptable budgets or come up with ways to deal with troublesome kids. Be innovative! Keep your mind open! Don't be a wet blanket, saying 'No' to all your better half's suggestions. It's the surest way for him / her to lose interest in your relation.
Numerous studies indicate that marriage stalls creative genius in men. I'd say it could cause women to turn off like a tap too! Midlife or mid-marriage crises have now fast-forwarded to early marital crises - all the more reason for you to continuously reinvent yourselves, and work adventure into your shared life.
Think creative
Taking up a creative hobby, singly or together will help. Spend an hour every week pursuing activities that force you to put your thinking cap on. Your aim should be to bring spontaneity into, and drive monotony out of your married life.
Learn to express yourself differently - to take your partner by surprise, but pleasantly so. Simply speaking, creativity in marriage isn't merely about 'creating' children! It's about your relation - the focal point of your marriage. Learn to preserve it.
P.S. There's no point in thinking creatively, if you can't express it with a smile on your face. Coming up next - cheerfulness!
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Charu Bahri
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