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Let Calm Prevail. Be Blue
The Colours of Love - 7
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Married and best of friends - that's the idyllic state you should aim for... Salsa lessons, bowling, discoing - Saroj and Anurag seemed to sign up for every hip sounding pastime. When their friends asked them why, they said it helped them bond.
Now Malti and Ashok, who were also part of the same couples' kitty, were just the opposite. They did attend the odd party but that was about it. Also a working couple with no children, they much rather preferred to spend their free time catching up with their reading at home.
Should you aim to be a happening couple?
According to Saroj and Anurag, Malti and Ashok were a boring, definitely not happening couple! In fact, they went so far as to say that their introverted nature probably stemmed from their being fed up of each others' companionship.
But this was so not true. In truth, Malti and Ashok were so well connected that they didn't feel the need to always do things together. Moreover, their individual nature preferred quieter activities.
Would you say that Malti and Ashok were a more mature couple, inspite of being the same age as Saroj and Anurag? Well yes, but also their relationship was more serene, as it had evolved to a higher level. A sense of calm emanated from their each being so secure about their position in their relationship and family.
So - they were as comfortable being together as doing things alone, knowing that their togetherness transcended physical presence.
The fine balance between being together and being alone
In terms of colour, you could say that their relationship was firmly grounded and hence had a touch of blue. Not 'the blues' as in depression, but the blue that symbolizes serenity!
If you believe that a couple should do things together, this analogy may sound strange. It's true - there is a fine line between doing things together and spending time (happily) yourself. Consider this - if you're always looking to be together, could this not strangle each other?
You know how Kahlil Gibran spoke of the need for space between a couple? Well - Saroj and Anurag were unlikely to give each other room to grow as individuals, as they were so caught up in needing to feel their togetherness. But togetherness, it may be argued, may be felt as much, or probably much more, when you're physically alone yet still feel mentally connected, or together.
Like Malti and Ashok. Of course they enjoyed each others company! But more importantly, they knew that the 'company' was not running away, so to speak. So they were secure in getting their fill of each other in small instalments, while also spending time doing their own thing.
Which drives us to ask - what about you? Are you driven to match your hobbies with your partner? Or always be on the move, doing things together? Do you get restless if you need to spend time alone or apart? If so, you badly need a dose of blue in your relationship. Try...
- Each should choose and pursue a different hobby. Then when you're together, share what you learnt - not only from the hobby, but also from being away from your partner when you had the choice of being together!
- Meditate (not necessarily together) - this will help you introduce some space in your togetherness!
- Learn to enjoy just 'being' together, instead of always 'doing' stuff together. In order words, learn to appreciate silence!
Read More And Get Colourful:
The Colours of Love - Pink
The Colours Of Love - Brown
The Colours Of Love - White
Black Is Back - With A Vengeance
The Colours of Love Orange
Friends For Life - The Colours of Love Yellow
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Charu Bahri
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