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Light A Red Fire - Again!
The Colours of Love - 11
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Think of the colour red in the context of love, and what comes to your mind? Passion, passion, and still more passion. It's not only always passion, but more often than not, passion associated with a new love that springs to mind.
There is a strong connect between passion and newness. Everyone who's been in a relationship knows that, probably because like Arun and Sunita, you've felt the heat between you cool off over a period of time.
Now like Arun and Sunita, you could determine to spice things up again, or choose to wallow in self-pity and an icy stalemate!
Has your relationship worn out to simile an 'old shoe'?
Arun and Sunita had been married for twelve years and had two children when they realized that life was just passing them by. It was not as though 'things' were not happening. Their careers were on the fast-track and their kids were doing well in school. They were well on the road to being the successful, professionally well-known couple they aspired to be.
Nevertheless, inspite of the flurry of activity, their love life was languishing for want of energy and time.
They both felt the growing vacuum between them. Initially, although they didn't like it, they thought 'maybe this is the way things grow to be' once you 'settle down' in life.
Bridge the divide before it gets too wide
But the growing space between them got to them. Finally one weekend, when their kids were spending some quality time with their grandparents, the twosome gave vent to the way they felt.
"I feel lonely, inspite of being with you all," confessed Sunita.
"Me too," added Arun.
They looked at each other. It seemed hard to talk about their inner feelings, but they knew this was something they had to go through if they hoped to restore a semblance of passion into their relation. In other words, Arun and Sunita had taken the all-important first step towards rekindling their relationship - to communicate and share their feelings.
Invest right, and the magic is yours for keeps
Over the week-end, the couple realized that they had lost the magic because 'us' as a couple had been relegated to the bottom of their list of priorities. Careers, kids, exercise, household chores, looking after parents, socializing - everything else ranked higher on their list of must-do's.
Arun and Sunita opened their eyes to a basic truism - the magic in a relation may come as though by magic, but it doesn't stay by virtue of any magic. It needs significant investments of energy and time to stay alive. So be careful to invest enough, or at least more than you withdraw from your relationship.
For instance, Arun realized that his love-making with Sunita had become a ritual he invested no energy or time in. Feeling quite ashamed at the thought, he began to surprise (and delight) her with a few new moves!
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