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The Perfect 10 For A Good Marriage VII
Cheerfulness
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If You're Happy That You're Married - Show It!
In addition to reflecting your happiness and appreciation of your partner, a cheerful face works wonders to preserve the sweetness of your marriage.
My last instalment - on creativity in a marriage - closed saying that there is no point in thinking creatively, if you can't express it with a smile on your face. Truly, there's something special about a smile that completely changes its receiver's attitude. When someone smiles at you, your mind registers an open avenue - for friendship or asking for help or simply exchanging a kindly word or greeting.
If a simple smile, worn by just about anyone you meet can send out such strong signals, imagine how much meaning a smile on the face of your partner can convey. From 'I love you,' to 'I feel for you,' to 'I'm concerned,' or even 'don't worry, be happy - we'll make (solve) it together' - all this can be expressed through a smile.
Smile your way through your darkest hour
So much for so little? That's the beauty of a smile. A genuine smile - not its plastic, sickly sweet version - represents good cheer and true feeling. Cheerfulness is as much synonymous with happiness, as it is with optimism. A partner in good cheer is a far greater source of strength, than one who gets upset when you're down.
It goes without saying that you rely on your better half to be 'better' or stronger when you need the most support. Cheerfulness represents the ability to cope in the face of adversity. It signals, not only to your partner but your immediate and extended family too, your resolve, and your ability to pull your family through hard times.
Lighten up your partners' mood
As Arati discovered, cheerfulness is also an effective means to cool down a post-squabble scenario! Having rowed with her husband Sanjay in the morning, Arati welcomed him home with a small, but genuine smile later in the day.
Besides cooling down the atmosphere, Arati's cheerfulness signalled that she wasn't interested in bringing things to a boil, yet again! Quite the contrary, she wanted to patch up their relation and move on. As Sanjay had expected her to sulk, her effort to reach out to him thawed his anger completely.
Undoubtedly, cheerfulness makes for an easy, light relationship between husband and wife. It may not be apt where a partner makes an earth-shattering (read 'relation shattering') folly, but works wonders in situations that crop up in everyday living.
Balance cheerfulness with aptness
Speaking of aptness, well known English author John Milton is known to have said, "The apt and cheerful conversation of man with woman is the chief and noblest purpose of marriage," and further "Where loving [conversation] cannot be, there can be left of wedlock nothing but the empty husk of an outside matrimony."
Husk symbolizes something dispensable, which is certainly not what you want to reduce your marriage to. Aptness - as expressed during a candid conversation - may be hard to endure. Also, an overdose of cheerfulness - sometimes in an attempt to avoid talking about meaningful matters - can downgrade a marriage to being a relation of blissfully ignorant partners. Balancing aptness and cheerfulness will ensure you make the most of your marriage.
After all, you came together for better or worse. Cheerfulness is a great tool to implement that resolve to stay together, cheerfully!
P.S. A good marriage is all about sustaining genuine, positive emotions. Genuine means sincere. A marriage cannot survive, forget thrive without sincerity - more on this next week.
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Charu Bahri
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