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Can 'Love' Ever Spell Doom In A Marriage?
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Errr, what's that? 'Love' - we all presuppose, is the 'be all and end all' of any marriage. So how can it ever spell doom for a marriage?
Well - there is love and there is love, as they say. For instance, in ancient Arabia, love was claimed to be 'satrangi' for its seven shades - Hub (attraction), Uns (infatuation), Ishq (love), Adiqat (reverence), Ibadat (worship), Junoon (obsession), and Maut (death).
The question that arises then is: Do all these shades of love add happiness to a marriage? Or, can any actually spell trouble?
Attraction (Hub)
Take attraction. First things first. How is attraction a shade of love? Well - think back to the first time you met your husband. Irrespective of whether you had a love or arranged marriage, there would have been some chemistry, or attraction that led you to believe - 'He (or she) is the one. This is it.'
So - it makes a lot of sense to say that attraction is a shade of love, as it ushers in a desire to know more about, spend more time with, and express our interest and concern for the subject of our attraction. In time, this 'time-pass', as it were, may convert into the conventional shade of love we recognize.
Now - just imagine this feeling arising in a much-married man and the subject of his attraction being anyone other than his wife... could attraction then spell doom for their marriage?
Does your partner still crave attraction?
Neeta definitely thinks so. She goes so far as to say that attraction is a dangerous yet shallow shade of love, often expressed as meaningless or hurtful (for the legitimate partner) flirting. But it is definitely a step towards love, not away!
Neeta should know. Even ten years after being seemingly happily married, her husband Akshay craved being attracted by women. He simply loved being the man of the moment, the man sought out by ladies at a party.
Initially, Neeta thought his actions were a sign of insecurity as after any such interaction, his ego would be on a high. He would claim his innocence, and joke 'what can I do if I'm always the target of unwanted (ahem!) female attention? I might as well enjoy it! Don't worry darling, it's not like I asked for it...'
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