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My wife does not trust me
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Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat
Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat is a professional Marriage & Family counselor with a practice based in Manhattan. She offers traditional methods of counseling as well as other creative counseling techniques for those who are not located nearby (i.e. telephone, email and instant messaging)
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Who is my Mr Right
Bhanu asks,
While finding a perfect guy if I have two options: 1. A person having a good family background, good financial status but not a good personality. 2. A person having cool personality, nice nature but ok financial status... which one should I choose?
Dear Bhanu,
Who are you attracted to? What kind of guy you like? What is important to you? Who do you prefer? You will finally be living with him, so it is important that you figure out what your needs are and what type do you like? It is not about either one, maybe it is about somebody who has some of the two options. You need to figure it out.
My wife does not trust me
Pradeep Agarwal asks,
I am a designer and work with a lot of girls. But my wife does not trust me because she thinks I have relation with every one. How do I make her understand?
Dear Pradeep,
Show it in your everyday life that your wife means a lot to you. Build the security in your relationship, let her feel confident about who you are and your profession. Speak about your clients openly and share the realities about your work. Spend quality time with her and enable her to understand that your work involves more than just meeting the girls / women. Better still, let her see one day how you talk to your clients and what goes in a day for you.
Religious barrier
Seema asks,
We are married since 4 yrs. We are a happy couple with mutual understanding but because he is religious, he abstains from having sex or any type of closeness. We have sex only 1 or 2 times in 6 months. I feel lonely but he is not willing to change. What do you advise?
Dear Seema,
Is there a possible way to understand his religious inclination and reason with him about your needs and desires? I understand that you love him and would like to be in this relationship. What kind of ways have you tried to find out what he does religiously and why he does it so? Are you comfortable communicating with him your needs and desires? If you are able to communicate and understand from where he is coming, then you know how much are your chances to draw him closer to you. Be honest and let him know that you would like your married life to be somewhat more normal and you wish to change it a little bit. Suggest also, talking to a counsellor, if that makes it easier.
Estranged family
Chandra Singh asks,
I'm 48 and separated from my family for last 1.5 yrs. I tried to get united with my family but my wife is not responding in positive way. I have 2 daughters who are living with my wife. My wife wants my flat, which is in Pune for my daughters and for her. She won't allow me to see daughters and to enter in flat too. In such condition what action should I take? Can I marry again? My wife is earning so do I have to pay my wife compensation? Please advise.
Dear Chandra,
I suggest that you seek legal counsel.
Family politics
Ritika asks,
After my divorce I married a guy whom I met online. But now I have become a part of family politics. My husband is supporting his entire family and doesn't understand how his family is using him. He has also changed drastically after marriage. He has no time for me now and is sexually not interested also. He has hidden certain medical problems too. I feel very suffocated with him but I'm not financially independent right now and have a broken marriage behind me. Please suggest what should I do?
Dear Ritika,
Some circumstances just happen and one doesn't necessarily see it coming. First and foremost, try and be economically independent. Figure out what you are good at and what your interests are and seek some occupation. If you are in an unhappy marriage void of love and understanding, then try to seek help by seeing a counselor. Talk to your spouse and let him know that you are very unhappy and would like to seek help. Try to take control and be independent. Do not give up and feel helpless.
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Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat
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