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Are Marriages Really Made In Heaven?
Dev asks,
I am working in a leading company as an asst manager; my parents are looking for a girl for me to get married. I am not able to decide which kind of girl will be suitable for me? Will she be able to adjust with me?
Dear Dev,
Truly marriage is not an easy decision. And finding someone who's a perfect match is a tough one too. But you must remember, perfect marriages are not made in heaven; they are made right here on earth. You have to make adjustments, amends, compromises and bends. Yes, today we have a lot of pre-marital compatibility checks, which help you to gauge how much agreeability is there between you and your partner. Tests are available, which assess the maturity, readiness for marriage; as well as compatibility in different areas such as likes, dislikes, personality, temper, perspectives, beliefs and attitudes, finance, children, sex, family roles, work, leisure, religion, intimacy, conflict resolution and the like. If you and your intended-to-be spouse undergo the test, it will give you a reasonable idea of how compatible you are. At the same time, if differences are noted, there are ways to establish agreeability and increase your compatibility.
Is He Two Timing?
Anila asks,
I have been with my partner for 6 years. He is from Pakistan. We don't share the same background. 3 years ago he left me for someone else. He got engaged to a girl from his own religion. However, now he has left her too. I have a baby from him and now we are back together. It's been 3 years since we've gotten back together again but his ex fiancée still contacts him and he just ignores everything else. Can there be anything between them? Why can't she leave him alone?
Dear Anila,
I can understand you must be very disturbed by your spouse's behaviour. It is difficult to gauge if anything is 'going on' between them; that is something we will never be able to predict. However you say that he ignores everything when she calls and you wonder why she cannot leave him alone. It is important to understand that your spouse is the one who should also take the initiative to end things with her unless it is a platonic friendship. It is best to speak to your spouse openly about it and express your views on his behaviour and see if he can change.
There is little for you to do here. Your spouse must take the initiative. Talk to him openly and get a viable solution. You cannot keep getting worried and insecure, so get the answers from him.
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