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Communication barrier
Himani Gupta asks,
I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs now and I am still not comfortable in calling my mother-in-law (mummy). And though everything is great between me and my husband, it is just that there is not enough communication between us. Every time I go to talk to him about something he either gets upset or says that I'm disturbing him. What should I do?
Dear Himani,
First one, if you respect your mother-in-law, have no issues with her and would like to call her mummy, then make a sincere effort. Also, if you don't willingly make an effort, this will not happen. Secondly, everything is great between you and your husband is what you say, then communication should be one of your top success points. To improve communication, try to understand what works best to your spouse. What is his personality? What kind of job stress does he have? How much time you both get to spend with one another? Take all these into consideration.
Lazy husband
Krishna asks,
I'm married for 3 years and have a 11 month old son. My husband and his family had lied about his education and his job. He is not doing any work and it's hard to manage family life with him and his family. Few days back we had a fight and now I'm at my parent's home. I have tried a lot to work things out but he is too lazy to do any work. He wants my dad to help him settle down with a business but he doesn't have that much knowledge or potential to do so. Should I go back? He has also threatened that he will take away my son from me. Can he do that?
Dear Krishna,
First, nobody can just take your son away, including the father. Two, figure out how much this relationship means to you. How much your husband means to you? Would you like to be married? Do you love him? Fundamentally if you are not happy with him and you feel confident to lead life on your own, consult a lawyer to help you with the custody of the child.
If you feel that you have done everything that takes to change your husband's behaviour and yet he doesn't want to change, then you did your best and it is time for you to move on. On the other hand if you feel you would like to seek counseling and help him stabilise his life, then give that a chance. Either way, give yourself a time line and make up your mind. Don't just let things be or just simply go back to misery.
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Bhuvaneshwari Bhagat
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