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Marrying a younger guy
GR asks,
I was seeing my ex-colleague, younger than me by 7.5 years. We gelled well and always had healthy arguments as we initially started off as good friends and then planned to be together forever as a life partner. But in 3 month's time his family discovered the reality about me being elder to him and we were put through an emotional pressure not to see each other. Because of our financial instability we have parted but we still can not break our relationship completely. He is a divorcee but I am not.
I seek your advise in this situation as we are in early thirties and late thirties so our's is not a puppy love but a matured decision to be together.
Dear GR,
In today's world people are not so hung up about the girl being older than the boy in marriage. Earlier, men were the sole breadwinners while women ran the household. Hence, boys needed to complete their education and get settled in a job whereas women only needed to be physiologically mature to have babies and do the housework. It was therefore inevitable that boys would be required to be older in the marital equation.
Now that women too go out to work, it is no longer absolutely essential for the man to be older than his wife. And in recent times, many couples are reflecting that change by disregarding the traditional age-difference expectations.
If the two of you are strong in your love for each other and willing to work out financial difficulties like two mature adults, I do not see why you should not go ahead and get married. It is understandable that your families may object, but with time they are likely to accept the age differences. In fact, I think that if you two go on to enjoy a happy marriage, they would most probably get over their own apprehensions and biases.
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Dr. Laura Vaz
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