|
« continued from previous page
|
Reality Bites
Jim asks,
I had joined a company two years back as it was a startup, the guy who own this co. is one of my acquaintance's brother, initially it was him and I who were working and spending 9 hours together, we started liking each other, and started going out, for movies, drink and dinner, he's a nice guy who cares for me like anything, has supported me whenever I needed, I wanted to take this relationship to the next level, so asked him couple of months back, if he loves me and feels the same. He bluntly said no to me, and said that he cares for me a lot, which was not sufficient for me, I decided to leave, but I couldn't. Its been 6 months to that instance, I am still there, and he's still that good to me caring in a same manner, taking care of my every need, my mom knows about him and doesn't want me to work here anymore, and I am very attached to this place. What is the solution?
Dear Jim,
Reality bites at times and doesn't give us time to heal ourselves of the wound! It must be so traumatic for you to be rejected by the one you are so fond of. It must have been a shock for you. But it is also imperative for you to understand that he was honest with you. If he used you or exploited you in any way, your anger would be uncontrollable and you would probably be unable to forgive him. But we can give him the benefit of that doubt. He seems to be a caring person who is nice to colleagues. You may have mistakenly misinterpreted his acts of kindness and concern as those of want and love. I would presume he still loves you, but as a colleague, a friend, a companion; but not as a life partner. I would agree with your mother regarding your continuation with the same job. If you are strong enough to take your relationship on the plane of a neat and clean friendship, it is worth it. But if you have different expectations and think that something is going to change while in reality it isn't, then you are fooling yourself and making it more and more difficult for yourself. So I suggest you redo the thinking in your mind and ask yourself if you are ready to accept his friendship. If not I'd suggest you leave the job, occupy yourself with something else and divert your mind from him to get over him as soon as possible. Life is short so do not waste it on someone who isn't there for you, you're probably missing the chance of finding someone who's truly made for you. So be strong and get put of this as soon as you can.
Bitter Truth
J asks,
I am 28 yrs old, BE + MBA, working as a freelance finance professional. Last year, I came in contact with a girl through a matrimonial site. Initially we couldn't decide whether to marry or not, but we maintained contact through phone and occasionally used to go for dates. Like this we kept on going for 1 yr. During this 1 yr we did fought at times and also shared good times. But gradually we meet each others family and both of us with our parents decided to get married (just verbal approval). Just after that I lost my job and took up freelancing job, which I took up thinking that I'll do it until I get another good job. Now this freelancing job was not ok with girl's dad and he asked my dad to wait until I get a full time job. I felt bad because of this and gradually our communication stopped. Since last 4 months there was no communication and last week I call her and she told that now she is engaged. I have seen other girls as well, but I really like her. I am really confused as to what should I do now?
Dear J,
Look J, the reality is clear in your face and even of it is bitter. I guess its best to face it. Yes I understand it must have been traumatic for you to suddenly have been cut out of her life simply because of the loss of a job. Ups and downs occur in everyone's life and you could have had a problem with your job even after marriage, then she would have no option but to stand by you. If she really loved you she would have stood by you and waited till you get a better job and convince her parents of your capabilities. However as is evident she has gone ahead with her engagement and is probably all set to marry someone else. I feel it's a lost battle. You must move on and get over this episode as fast as you can. Life waits for nobody. There is no time to waste. Wake up, see the reality, accept it with a smile and move ahead thinking that this was just a test of your strength and conviction in yourself. There is probably someone else waiting for you out there in life. Do not worry over the past and ruin a possibly bright future. Put the past behind and look ahead with positivism.
|
|
| Dr. Shefali Batra will answer your queries. Ask now! |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| | Beautifully Designed Marble Pen Stand. | Tamar Khaleeji Omani - Dates With Dryfruits | Classic Combo | Rs.1,100 ($22.85) | | | | Rs.880 ($18.28) | Rs.648 ($13.46) | Rs.1,733 ($36.00) | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask our Experts :
Personality Development, Immigration (US), Tarot, Hot Couture, Face Value, Matrimonial Laws, Infertility, Life, etc, Gender Wars, Shaping Up. |
|
 |
|
Furl it
Reddit
