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My Fiancé Ditched Me
Asha asks,
I'm Asha from Sydney, Australia. I was supposed to get married to this guy (my ex-fiancé) overseas and found out he is womanizer and now he has hooked up with a grandmother. Whatever his problem is I don't want to know. But I want to forget my ex fiancé, but its hard because I loved him so much. He used to lie to me all along but I didn't know till I found out in Feb '09 that he cheated on me. I know he wasn't meant for me but it's hard to get over him. Will you please give me some advice?
Dear Asha,
It is very traumatic to go through what you have experienced. It must be heartbreaking; however there is still a golden lining to this dark cloud. You found out things well in time. If you were already married, or if you had children and you discovered this truth, it would have wrecked a lot more havoc in your life. You have deeply loved him so it hurts all the more to be let down by someone you have loved incessantly and honestly. However, you have a big heart; you must learn to let go. Let go; not of love, but of the undeserving love. He didn't deserve you and most of all you did not deserve him.
You need to move on to bigger and better things in life. Be positive. Take your time to get over the trauma, be with yourself, do some meditation, yoga, and relaxation and find inner peace. Once you are at peace with yourself, nothing will trouble you. Be nice to yourself, you deserve it!
Don't Let Innocence Be A Hindrance
Dilwar asks,
I am not happy with my girlfriend. She was very close to her former boyfriend. That hurts me a lot. When I start to discuss this matter with her, she replies that she will commit suicide, will harm herself. What do I do now? I can't put up with such a situation.
Dear Dilwar,
Your first statement is that you are not happy with your girlfriend. That is a pretty strong statement; you must reconsider your relationship with her if it is making you so unhappy. The key to a positive relationship is openness in communication. If she is not ready to have an open discussion and is repeatedly threatening suicide, it is evident that she is manipulating you. Either ways, do not take her threat too lightly. Speak to some close friend of hers and take her help in trying to communicate with your girlfriend. If her threats continue and tend get too severe then you must inform her parents. It is most likely that she is taking advantage of your innocence and that is not desirable. Be careful in your interactions with her and do not get yourself into trouble. Try communicating openly and understand her point of view; probably they are just good friends and that is all right. But if it is a closed door and she refuses to communicate maturely with you; then you must surely move out of the relationship.
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