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Why do women marry for financial security?
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Double-standards in feminism
Sometimes one may wonder if it gets stressful for the man to bear the burden of providing for the family. After all will an unemployed groom get any negotiated marriage proposals in India? A girl can on the other hand think of marriage even if she is not working or not earning well enough.
Explains Raijada, "In our patriarchal society you have ingrained into the male child that he is responsible for the family. I don't think it is stressful for them to be the sole-breadwinner because they know what is expected from them. However if a large family is dependent on him and you don't have the money to educate yourself to get a good job it is stressful."
Gynaecologist Meena Guha feels, "Some pseudo-feminists want to earn the reputation of being hard-core feminists by blaming men completely for their plight. Maybe they themselves have chosen not to work and are spending their husband's money lavishly, yet put the fault on men for all gender-based problems though they know that the men are taking the responsibility of providing for the family."
Is a non-working wife prone to abuse and domestic violence?
Film director and actor, Puneet Issar says, "Dowry deaths and atrocities on newly weds by in-laws have made women understand the need to work. Women not only need to educate themselves but do career oriented courses. However I think it is okay for a woman to be a housewife
 too as looking after the house and raising the children is a beautiful thing. A husband should treat a non-working wife with love and respect and not as a glorified ayah."
Raijada feels, " Domestic violence and abuse can happen in any marriage. However the chances may be less if the wife is financially independent. The husband will know that if he treats the wife badly she can just walk out on the marriage and therefore will be more careful. There are however women who have to give the whole pay to the husband and in-laws. These women are still stuck in the marriage due to family and societal pressures."
Plight of non-working women when unexpectedly widowed
Women who are not used to working but are used to a comfortable lifestyle provided by an affluent husband may find themselves is dire straits when unexpectedly widowed. Agrees Khanna, "Loss of status or wealth along with that of one's spouse is likely to be more difficult especially if the woman has no other income like from her own work." If the non-working widowed woman is a part of a joint family household she and her children may constantly be termed as financial liabilities unless her late husband has left a huge sum of money for her in the will.
Are women who enter into loveless marriages for financial security likely to enter into an illicit extra-marital affair?
Agrees psychiatrist Dr.Zirak Marker. "If a woman marries just for financial security they are bound to stray if their emotional or sexual needs are not met up," he says. This has indeed been the theme of many feature films like Aparna Sen's Paroma, Amit Saxena's Jism and more subtlety portrayed in Rituparno Ghosh's Raincoat.
Emotional compatibility vs financial security
Unfortunately Manu's Vedic ideology that women are dependent on their father before marriage, husband after marriage and son after being widowed holds true for twenty first century women who have chosen not to work or are not allowed to work by their husbands and in-laws. Nevertheless nowadays more and more women are working hard to pave a career for themselves.
Says Raijada, "Women who are educated and confident of themselves are not too bothered on what their husband's pay package is. Perhaps they would like to marry someone who earns like them or more than them. They look at compatibility more than the pay cheque of the groom."
Adds psychiatrist Zirak Marker, "Love marriages are less of a financial deal. Thank goodness that women are now looking for partners of their own choice. This is a positive change. We may call it westernisation, modernisation or a change of views. Nevertheless the whole marriage concept is changing."
Aanchal says, "Today's girls have many idols to look up to. Women like Vijayalaxmi Pandit, Sarojini Naidu, Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, Condoleeza Rice, Chandrika Kumaratunga, Maneka Gandhi, Medha Patkar and others have battled it out and carved a niche for themselves. Even the transformation of Sonia Gandhi from a shy bride and homemaker to a politician and head of one of India's largest political party is worth admiring."
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