|
The Little White Lie
An Essential Part Of A Marriage?
|
 ''You lied to me. How could you?'' Well - sometimes, the lie is so trivial that it just isn't a big deal. In fact, telling the truth in such situations would be a big deal, and simply not worth the stormy fallout.
As Rohit turned into the road leading to his home, his mobile beeped. It was his wife Neeta. ''Just checking if you've remembered to pick up my saree from the dry-cleaners? I need to wear it for my office function tomorrow.''
After a momentary lull, his brain sprung into action. ''I'm nearly there. Sorry I'm late, got caught up in a meeting. Don't worry, will pick it up,'' he replied. Then, carefully calculated so that it didn't come across as an after-thought, he added, ''I haven't forgotten, honey.''
A white lie - a means for instant forgiveness?
Ha! He thought, as he turned his car back to the dry-cleaners two kilometres away. That should get her - a mushy white lie, and a two-in-one punch line to boot!
A white lie it certainly was, but was it such a good idea? For Rohit, it was. It didn't just save the moment, but ensured his evening would be peaceful, and free of reproaches.
But some marriage counsellors think otherwise, as they emphasize, "If you can't even be honest with, and expect truthfulness from your spouse, then forget about sincerity in your life." However, relenting somewhat, even hardcore advocates of honesty within a marriage opine that some white lies are acceptable, so long as you don't make a habit of it.
Fact is - the momentary bliss or forgiveness that a white lie assures can be seductive, and hence habit-inducing. While one little white lie may seem harmless, a series of white lies gives rise to a scenario of dishonesty, and stands to seriously impair a relation. How?
A bad habit - telling white lies
First, it retards a partner's growth as a good, compassionate communicator. Secondly, it inhibits true intimacy. Further, a series of white lies can invoke other bigger lies to hide the previous ones, and snowball into a stressful situation.
The truth of the matter is that a little white lie used as the easy way out to save a loved one from a stressful moment, when taken out of proportion, becomes a major stress-inducer itself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask our Experts :
Personality Development, Immigration (US), Tarot, Hot Couture, Face Value, Matrimonial Laws, Infertility, Life, etc, Gender Wars, Shaping Up. |
|
 |
|
Copyright © 1999-2010 shaaditimes.com - A relationship and Indian wedding portal by Shaadi.com. - All Rights Reserved.
All trademarks, logos and names are properties of their respective owners.
|
