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When the going gets tough
Is death the answer?
22 April, 2006 - Geetanjali, wife of actor Navin Nischol, commits suicide. She hangs herself in her Mahim flat and leaves a suicide note in which she holds her husband responsible for her death.
8 February, 2006 - Kuljeet Randhawa, model-turned actress, hangs herself in her posh three-room apartment in Mumbai. Her suicide note says that she took the step as she was unable to cope with life's pressures. As per reports, she was having trouble with her boyfriend.
29 July, 2004 - Engaged to be married in four week's time, model and VJ, Nafisa Joseph commits suicide in her flat in Mumbai. According to her parents, Nafisa took the step because her marriage with businessman Gautam Khanduja was called off.
Violence, it seems, is becoming an unavoidable factor in all existing relationships; violence to the partner and to one's self. Is this the only answer? Is it increasing today? Why are relationships falling prey to this demon that is casting its spell all over? How easy or difficult is it to cope with this situation? How can you come to an understanding before things go out of hand? Is ending your life the only way out? Is committing suicide an act of cowardice?
Shaaditimes answers these questions for you.
Dr. Laura Vaz, well-known clinical psychologist, says, "Violence in a relationship is definitely not on the rise. We are hearing more about this today as women have become educated and people are talking about this issue now. Moreover, there are a lot of support groups that have come up which are offering help to overcome exploitation by their partners. It is possible that violence was much more prevalent a few years ago. Men have always believed that it is their right to discipline women. They do this with the help of violence when it is not done the easier way."
Violence in a relationship is more than just arguing or fighting. It involves threats and acts of violence by one person in a couple, on the other, in an attempt to have power and control. This can include sexual assault, physical violence, verbal and emotional abuse.
What are the reasons for violence in a relationship?
On 14th November, 2005, Prateek Gupta (23) beat his girlfriend, Megha Doshi (24) to death over an argument. He surrendered to the cops minutes after the incident. According to his police statement, Gupta allegedly hit her with a cement slab as he was irked by her constant demands to get married.
There are various reasons why one resorts to violence. According to Dr. Laura Vaz, societal upbringing of a man is different than that of the woman. "Men try to maintain a tough macho image reinforced by society. Male power also refers to more muscle power. While women are stronger physiologically, men tend to dominate women to prove their point," says Dr. Vaz. She continues, "Socio-cultural factors also lead to this disharmony in a relationship. Today, with the increasing number of films and advertisements that one has access to, it becomes difficult to avoid getting influenced by them."
"Art imitates life," feels veteran actor from the yesteryears, Prem Chopra, who is known for his negative roles. "What we portray in our films is nothing extraordinary. Our films depict real life situations. Sure, I do agree that sometimes you see an exaggerated version of situations, but what one needs to understand is, that these films are meant to be eye-openers for the audiences." He continues, "I do have a certain sense of responsibility towards the society when I portray negative characters on screen. However, when an actor plays a certain role, it is his profound duty to perform as per the requirements of the script. We are not aware of the repercussions or the social elements that may affect real life at the time of performing."
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