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Is your spouse your best friend?
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"No body knows me completely. Not even my friends, as I choose not to share every thing with them. When I was having troubles in my marital life, I also had a crush on my colleague and even got a positive reply from his side. I did not tell this to Rahul. Nor did I tell my friends. Even now Rahul does not know that I send some money to my mother from my own salary. I know he won't understand the situation and would accuse me of spending excessive money on my mother at some point of time. I really don't have a best friend with whom I share everything...be it my mother, my friends, my husband. At times I do feel lonely and am depressed, but I try not to think about it and try to be 'happy'. I don't believe in the best friend funda...I myself is my best friend," concludes Rakhi.
Mariam and Joseph had a love marriage 26 years back. They were college sweethearts madly in love and had a tough time convincing their parents before they got married after 3 years of courtship. But today the friendship, which blossomed to love, has come to a dead end. "Joseph is a wonderful husband, but he is not a good friend. After marriage I realised that he was over possessive about me. He was jealous even if some of my old friends called me up. He would fail to understand that I too needed some space. That was the beginning. Today I don't discuss all my feelings with him. I had done that mistake in the initial years of marriage. Even if I was hurt and seeked some solace in him, he would blame me back for being too naive with people who take advantage of me and would forget it later. Sometimes he would backfire me by quoting the same incident after a few months. I had got used to living my life alone until my daughter grew up. She understands me and she is very much like me. Today I have found a new friend in her and call her my Best Friend."
*Names changed to protect identity.
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Amrita Biswas
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