|
Does Your Spouse Take You For Granted?
|
Your boyfriend/girlfriend made you feel so very special when you were dating each other. Unexpected little presents; phone calls just to say that they miss you; flowers for no reason at all; cooking your favourite dish to cheer you up and many more things to make you feel special. Basically, you were put on a pedestal and you loved it that way!
However, after being married, it seems that the pedestal kept getting lower and lately your spouse has started taking you for granted for everything! Sound's familiar?
When you're in a long term relationship, it is quite likely that your partner may start taking you for granted. It may not always be intentional, but nevertheless, it can cause a strain on your marriage. So, here's what you need to do if you feel that you are being taken advantage of.
- Let your spouse know how you feel: Like I said before, your spouse may be unaware that he/she is taking you for granted. So, it is important that you tell him/her how you're feeling. Most of us have the tendency to start accusing our spouses and attacking them for treating us like doormats. However, instead of going on the warpath, talk about it in a calm manner and tell your spouse how they make you feel.
Try and use words such as 'I'd like you to...' instead of accusatory ones such as 'You never ask me...' For instance, if your husband has invited some friends or colleagues over for dinner yet again and expects you to get dinner prepared on extremely short notice, here's what you may be tempted to say, "You never ask me if I'm ok with your impromptu dinner plans; you just take it for granted that I am!" However, try and keep your frustration in check and respond with something like, "I'd like you to check with me next time before inviting people over as I may not be free to cook for them."
By talking calmly but assertively, not only will you let your spouse know how you're feeling but the absence of all the shouting and screaming will make him actually listen to what you're saying.
- Do not let them continue the same behaviour: Even after you have told your spouse how you feel, if he/she still continues to take you for granted, you should not allow them to do it. For instance, your spouse has come home and thrown their dirty clothes all over the place expecting you to pick up after them. Let the clothes lie there till he/she picks them up. If you keep doing things that you don't want to do, your spouse will never stop expecting you to do them.
- Make sure you're not taking them for granted too: Have you ever stopped to consider that your partner feels you're taking him/her for granted too and that is why they behave in the same manner. Two wrongs have never made a right and they won't here too. This especially happens with women as they don't realize that their men need to feel loved and appreciated to. It is very easy to think that whatever your man does for you is his duty to do so. Such an attitude can make him feel unappreciated and taken for granted.
Thus, learn to appreciate whatever your partner does for you, including small everyday chores. Every once in a while, you need to make an effort and do something special for your partner - something that you used to do when you'll were dating but have not done for a long time. The loving gestures on your part will result in reciprocal behaviour from your spouse and hopefully you won't take each other for granted anymore!
|
|
|
Ruchi Agarwal
|
|
|
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| | Cappuccino | Titan Raga Watch for Women | Graceful Metal Show Piece Dice Watch | | | | Rs.1,402 ($29.12) | | Rs.899 ($18.67) | Rs.4,200 ($87.25) | Rs.1,121 ($23.29) | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask our Experts :
Personality Development, Immigration (US), Tarot, Hot Couture, Face Value, Matrimonial Laws, Infertility, Life, etc, Gender Wars, Shaping Up. |
|
 |
|
Furl it
Reddit
Readers comment
