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Six No No's For Singles!
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Are you finding it difficult to get to tie the knot? Late marriages are a growing trend. Many singles that got married are finding themselves divorced - that is, back in the marriage market, and unable to marry again.
What are the faux pas that may be keeping you from finding your soul mate?
ShaadiTimes gives you the lowdown:
1. Extremely possessive:
Extreme possessiveness and jealousy are the first signs of potential abuse. You may insist that your partner break off any relationships he/she may have with friends of the opposite sex. You may also feel threatened by these relationships. Also you may be getting too serious about the relationship too soon.
Possessiveness can be described by the desire to marry and to have more controlling power than affection for the partner. Do you take stock and demand an account for his/her time? Do you threaten to commit suicide if he/she leaves you? Do you insist he/she dress "your way"? STOP NOW!
2. High expectations:
Having your way in all matters and pushing your mate to do things your way in any/all areas -- be it sexual, affectionate, or otherwise, is one of the best ways to scare him/her away.
So instead of expecting things from him/her, concentrate on what she does to make you happy. And think about what you can offer rather than what you can get. Don't expect her to be like you or vice versa. You may have a lot to give and that's great, but you can't expect your mate to mirror your affections. Everyone has their own way of caring; it's unreasonable, not to mention rather putting-off, to demand someone to be more like you.
3. Emotionally dependent:
Emotionally dependent relationships may appear harmless or even healthy at first, but they can lead to destruction and bondage. A woman will flee from a man who clings to her like a determined parasite. If you're emotionally independent, your woman will see that as strength and confidence -- two very desirable traits.
4. Making premature confessions:
You might want to spill some of your secrets to her, which, on the one hand, shows you trust her. But on the other hand, it could seem like you're rushing intimacy -- another big turnoff. Be patient, the time will come to reveal those skeletons. Instead, be attentive to what she has to say. If you show her that you're listening, you will smoothly beckon more verbal (and physical) intimacy between you.
5. Sometimes marriage is scary:
Scared to get into a relationship, to commit, to take up responsibility? The high divorce rate has made many singles cautious about marriage. Jobs pay well but they are less secure then they were in earlier times. With job security becoming much less, the possibility of a family seems risky in the eyes of many singles.
Relationships always get in the way of good friendships, so sometimes you're better off without them. You may want to enjoy the freedom and make the most of it. But always remember, marriage is a gamble -- marriage is beautiful, marriage is horrible, marriage is fantastic, marriage is terrible, marriage is contentment, but marriage is understanding. Marriage is a combination of respect, love, caring and sharing.
6. I'm still in love with my ex:
How can you create a future with someone if you're too busy looking at the past? There are three outlooks -- the past, the present and the future. Don't waste your time mulling over the past - what's done is done. Do whatever it is you need to do to get over it, and move on. Life is full of surprises, twists and turns. It is not an easy, straight path. Let go of your past so you can see what is in store for you just around the corner.
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