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Love » Gender-relations » Sexual-satisfaction-061128
 
Magic of tantra series Ego Meltdown
Key to sexual satisfaction

Ego Meltdown As this series is progressing, it might be touching to focus on certain soft spots that have been of concern to our readers. Even though it may be difficult sometimes to dwell in such horizons, one has to go through self realizations, if one is really seeking a quantum leap in life. I am thankful to readers for their interest in this article series and their comments. I would love to respond to their queries and comments, as these may be extremely helpful in making greater sense out of these writings.

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Following is the comment I have received from Mr. Sunny:
To equate chakras and their focus with life choices, career choices and egotism is a juvenile argument. Thoughts and emotions do play a role in managing your chakras and energy centres (and yes, your sex life) but to make the stretch that an ambitious (hence egotistic) person cannot have good sex is an immature argument that cannot be proven. You can e-mail me, and I shall send you more info on chakras and how to improve their focus in your own life (for sex or otherwise). Thanks...

As far as I have understood, Mr. Sunny is referring to the following part of my article: "That is why, more egoistic the man is, worse he is likely to perform in bed. On the other hand, a simple hearted man with fewer complications in his life will last much longer and hence would be much more satisfying for his partner." I wish to further elaborate on this statement, as it may be helpful to the readers.

To understand it better, we need to first delve deeper into the phenomenon of ego. The origin of ego happens from the sense that I am insufficient and I need to protect myself and control my environment in order to survive. For example, the ego may demand the power and control over others, so that one may not feel powerless from within. Hence, the ego is a state of separation from rest of life, where one begins to treat himself at the centre of universe. As the ego strengthens, one begins to nurture distorted notions of reality. He begins to plan everything keeping himself at the centre and everyone around him just become tools with whom he wants to play around in order to score his own victories. It is obvious that such a man also deals with woman as an object to derive pleasure and hence wants to turn her into sexual object. This restricts the free flow of a woman's energy and she is not able to be rhythmic in the act of intimacy. This forces the woman to fake her pleasure and as a result, the man also get the fake (and not the authentic) sense of pleasure. The act of sex is such that either or both will enjoy simultaneously or both will not enjoy it.

Such is the state the ego causes: where both the partners may treat each other by way of selfish motives. This lack of trust obviously restricts the flow of energy to lower chakras and hence sex can not become a blissful experience. It just fulfills the urge of the ego to own a woman and treat her as per a man's own needs.

We also need to understand the mechanics of thoughts. Most of the thoughts originate from a sense of insecurity that one has to do something to survive. Hence, the stronger the ego, the greater the flow of thoughts at all times. An egoistic person often tends to lose touch with the sensitivity of those intimate moments and gets lost in his own world of thoughts. Such moving thoughts disturb the energy pattern, as the awareness of the moment gets lost. In such a state one can not hold on to the hurricane of energy revolving at sex chakra and hence can not last long in the sexual act leaving his partner dissatisfied.

The ego causes immense stress, as one is under immense pressure to achieve the future goals. One medical website had this to say about the impact of stress on sexual life: "Stress can lead to diminished sexual desire and an inability to achieve orgasm in women. Stress response can also cause temporary impotence in men. Part of the stress response involves the release of brain chemicals that constrict the smooth muscles of the penis and its arteries. This constriction reduces the blood flow into and increases the blood flow out of the penis, which can prevent erection."

The orgasm is a state where both the partners go beyond their physical self and hence no more remain separate entities as their soul melts into each other. This is the phenomenon by way of which one experiences the reality much beyond oneself. This stage dawns upon lovers, as they surrender to each other with totality and they get in touch with something much vaster. Such a state of bliss melts lovers into timelessness. In such moments, one is able to have that glimpse of joy, which is unattainable by way of ego. This is why orgasm is the death of ego. Hence, the ego fears this state and avoids it subconsciously. Even the reverse of this is true. As one begins to linger more in the state of orgasm, the ego keeps on melting down.

You may have a valid question. If this is true that why the woman chooses an egoistic man as her partner. I will be discussing this in detail in next two articles.


Shivo
The playful mystic
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     Dear Shivo, Incredible job! You are doing a wonderful thing by brin...
     - Lighted One

     Dear Shivo, This is like talking about the pleasures of eating cav...
     - Sunny

     Hi, Your all articles are very very informative and life changing. I'...
     - Sha

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