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Love » Gender-relations » Right-man-031103
 
Is He The Right Man For You?
 
                                                                                                                                                   
Down on your knees,
And thank heaven, fasting,
For a good man's love.
Wrote the Bard of Avon,
Shakespeare.
                                                     



If your new boyfriend is affectionate, romantic, hums while he lays the table for you and patiently waits while you are on a shopping spree, he just might have marriage potential!


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Making a wish list of traits for the ideal mate is not too calculating. But sometimes what seems to be a plus can be a minus. For example, a rich man might want a beautiful wife (you) to drape over his arm, and you could end up an economic captive, doing his bidding - until he dumps you for a trophy wife years later. And the proverbial tall, dark and handsome man might be so conceited; you wouldn't be able to bear him for long. Sure, you need a man who is reasonably solvent, and handsome can't hurt, but what really makes good husband material is the stuff that's on the inside, as follows:

He's glad to be alive & takes good care of himself
Does he get up with the rising sun, eager to greet the new day? Does he throw open the window so he can hear the birdsong and catch a whiff of the morning air? These are very good signs. Many other apparent obstacles to your relationship can be overcome if your man has a genuine enthusiasm for living. Cherish him. He not only dresses for the weather but also eats right, exercises, and gets enough sleep. If he drinks, he does so in moderation and is a non-smoker. If so, keep him around

He has a good sense of humour
Does he know how to look on the light side? Does he know that making fun of people is not funny? Does he laugh a lot - and always with you and not at you? Super. Because laughter really is the best medicine. A man of mirth is a good man for you.

He likes to work
Does he enjoy what he does for a living? Is he excited about his work? Does he share his enthusiasm with you? Does he look forward to the next project, the next challenge? Then he's not only a good provider but also a very good man. Catch him while you can.

He's dependable & a team player
Does he mean what he means and says? Can you count on him to keep his promises? Does he fulfill obligations and responsibilities cheerfully and well? Grab this Boy Scout, and be prepared to live a wonderful life with him. If he cares about dividing the workload fairly in a relationship, if he pitches without being prodded and takes pride in a job well done, it is going to be nice to have this man around the house.

He's ethical
Does he pay his taxes without cheating? Does he tell the truth? Does he care about other people's feelings? Is he a good, law-abiding citizen? Does he play by the rules even when he is solitaire? Do you trust him implicitly? They don't come any better than this.

He wants the same lifestyle as you do
There is no right or wrong answer here, only the need for agreement. So ask. If you want a house in the suburbs, a Honda City and a Sumo, membership in the country club, a brace of golden retrieves, and two kids, and he wants exactly the same thing, bingo! Whatever you dream, share it with your beloved, and if he has the same visions, you're in business.

He respects your freedom and privacy
Does he have enough of a life that he doesn't need to own you every minute of the day? Does he have plenty to do, so when you want a night with your girlfriends or some time alone, he's fine with that? Does he understand that intimacy does not give him the right to open your mail or quiz you about the cost of your latest purchase or barge into the bathroom when you're soaking in the tub with a trashy novel? Does he know enough to leave the room when you're on the phone with your best friend or your mother? Does he think it's your own business if you want to lighten your hair or have your legs waxed or go to a spa by yourself for a week? Good. Very good.

He's big enough to say he's sorry
Does he apologize when he's made a mistake or hurt your feelings, even inadvertently? Do you know he means it? After that, does he refrain from making the same mistake or cutting remark ever again? Does he understand saying he's sorry means not that he's less of a man but that he's more of a man? Then keep him around. He's terrific.

He's affectionate
Does he tell you he loves you in a thousand little ways every day? This is the simplest but most magical ingredient in an incandescent love relationship. In other words, the couples that indulged in frequent terms of endearment plus nonsexual touching, such as stroking and pats on the head, reported extremely high levels of marital satisfaction. So, if your man lets you know you are loved, you've got a good guy for sure.

He would make a good father
Does he have a firm grasp on the intense attention and time babies and toddlers demand, and if so, is he willing to share you with young children and share the workload as well? Does he understand that terrible twos eventually become teenage rebels? Does he realize that children cost an enormous amount of money over the long haul and that orthodontia and camp and special lessons and lots of clothes and pairs of shoes and toys and school supplies and, eventually, college tuitions will have to be your top financial priority for two or more decades? Is he willing if not eager to participate in this script? Yes to all the above? Marry this man.
 
Gita Hari
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     I read your article "Is he the right man for you?". Its really good an...
     - sonali

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