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Playing Hard To Get; Does It Work?
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Ameep 'fell in love' with Sheetal the day he first saw her online matrimonial profile. After Sheetal accepted his profile he started sending her two or three mails everyday. On the second day, he told her, ''I know you are the one. Which is why your photograph graces my entire desktop''. If Sheetal skipped a day in replying to his mail, he would send a mail anxiously asking if he had written anything in his previous mail, which had offended her.
When Ameep and Sheetal met up, Ameep told her worriedly after five minutes, "I think you don't like me." He went on repeating this every fifteen minutes. He behaved sugary sweet hoping that his behaviour would win her over. At the end of the date he said, "If you be my wife, I will try best every minute of my life to make you very happy. You don't have to work, you'll get huge shopping allowances, a big house and a car and you'll be able to travel the whole world with me as I am quite rich." Sheetal who had taken enough of Ameep's desperate wooing said that she didn't think it would work out.
Sheetal was avoiding Ameep's calls the next day. He frantically called up from a booth and said, "I beg you to give me another chance. If there's anything in my behaviour you want me to change, I'll do so right away. Tell me what can I do to make you like me?" Sheetal who had taken enough snapped, "I'd like you more if you didn't call me again." Ameep being so available led to Sheetal losing all interest in him.
The other side of the coin...
Devika's mother had told her that a girl was charming to a man only if she could make him pursue her tirelessly. Devika purposely played very hard to get with Rohan. She quite liked him but pretended to be indifferent if not cold sometimes. She would cut his phone calls short, reply to his smses once in a while and often cancel or postpone dates with him.
Rohan got tired of Devika's ice-queen image and felt that she didn't like him at all after all. After Devika cancelled a date for the third time, he stopped communicating with her. He got engaged to another girl. When Devika got to know that she was devastated. She wondered what had made Rohan aloof from her.
Playing hard to get, does it really work?
Psychologist Chrisann Almeida explains, "Psychologically speaking playing hard to get translates into putting someone on a variable schedule of reinforcement, sometimes you're hot and sometimes cold, so the opposite person doesn't know when they're going to be rewarded by positive behaviour and will keep trying to get it, thus they maintain their pursuit, however this generally works in very small quantities, too much of it may lead to extinction of that behaviour, because they're not getting the positive behaviour often enough."
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