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The Indian man today (and what women think)...
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The younger mindset:
The younger set seems to agree. In his late twenties bachelor, Nikhil Pandit, owner of a cyber cafe in Mumbai says, "I will let my wife choose to work if she wishes. In fact I hope she will do something other than just look after the house." He clarifies that although he is open about his future wife's role in his life, the decision in choosing the bride may not be as modern. "We are Maharashtrians and I know my family would like me to marry a girl from a similar background." Despite his enthusiasm for social activities he feels, "I'll probably meet my future wife through a formal situation which is arranged or where we are introduced to each other through common friends and/or family."
"As you get older, the approach to women changes," states Vindu Singh matter-of-factly. This supports the concept of age as another variable in the perception of the Indian male.
"After all, now you have a reputation to protect and not just wild oats to sow. But, certain truths linger; older men still prefer younger women," says Vindu who is divorced from his wife, actress Farah. He says, "We are happily divorced and great friends today. In our case there weren't emotional or personal differences, but a difference of ideologies based on religious faith especially after our son was born. We disagreed on certain basic values due to religion."
A sign of changing times:
Restaurateur, Mumta Sekhri, says, "Observing the role of men in parenting, I think men have a more hands-on role as opposed to previous times where they played a more disciplinary role. Today they are not just providers, but also nurturers."
Pragna Parikh relays an anecdote, "My friend's husband who works with a leading national network was able to take 'paternity leave' after the birth of his son to stay and help his wife after she left the hospital."
Although at first glance it would seem trivial, it is important nonetheless, because it validates the change in viewpoint from a societal standpoint wherein the industry is also making allowances and acknowledging the changes in the man's role towards his family.
Fact or fiction:
The study concluded 72% of men in the US would give up their paycheck and job opportunities to spend more time with family. So with all the perceived choices, changes and advances in our society has the avatar of women also taken a bouncing stride forward or is it just tokenism?
Are the leaders of the private industry like India's biotech icon and richest woman, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw along with the coterie of a blur of female doctors, lawyers, teachers etc just the exception or have they made the required inroads to facilitate the decision making process and effect change?
"There have been changes, but a man still feels more comfortable dealing with a man on the business front," believes Sekhri.
"Men think differently, women have a different acumen -- they may be meticulous, hard-working etc. but they cannot cheat," laughs Vindu Singh.
Indian men may never do the housework and the Indian women still have an uphill battle to pave a steadier, smoother path in realising their aspirations, goals, and accomplishments in sync with their American counterparts.
But there's no denying today's Indian girl and her 'man' have transformed their roles in today's society to adjust to their needs, wants and desires and not have restrictions imposed upon them as it was during their parent's era.
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Rohini Bhatia-Singh
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