|
Beginning this week we flag off a series of articles on the magic of tantra.
|
Marriage: Mind Games or Soul Play?
Must-read for those who want to celebrate marriage
|
"He doesn't love me any more."
"She has lost all interest in me, which she had before marriage."
This type of rhetoric is not uncommon these days. Marriages are turning into a burden. At the most they seem to offer the security of companionship and continuation of family genes. Sadly, all the fun and bliss seems to have been lost. What is the reason? When we were looking for a spouse, we were so cautious. We did not take any chances and used our total intelligence to search for the best one, as far as we could. When we got married, we were sure, that we had found the right partner. If we were not sure, we wouldn't have gotten into the marriage in the first place. Then what happened? What went wrong? This is a very important question to ask, if we really want to celebrate our marriage through out life. For those, who are not yet married, the answer to this question can become an important pointer in their search for a spouse.
We always get in life what we look for. So whatever we look for in marriage, that is what we are likely to get. Let us first consider the modus operandi of an arranged marriage. We have our own criteria to look for in a prospective partner. For example, if the boy is a doctor, then he may look for a girl who is also a doctor, so that they can practice together. Hence they both get married as they fulfill each other's criteria. However, after marriage, once they start their practice together, they discover that life has turned so boring and hopeless. Both of them start to complain of being unloved and unappreciated. But why are they complaining? They got what they were looking for. They wanted a spouse from the same profession and they got that. Were they looking for someone, who would really love them and turn their whole life into a continuous celebration? This is where the trouble lies. We do not look for someone, who really loves us. And then we complain about it. Well, if you were looking for a beautiful girl, you got her. You were not looking for someone who would really love you. She should also love you, is a demand you are imposing on her after marriage, of which she may not be capable of.
Now let us try to understand the dilemma of the so- called love marriages. Most of these marriages are based on so- called mental compatibility. Such people come close to each other because they have common interests and motivations. Let us try to understand that such compatibility, cannot really last for the whole life, as the changeable mind is the biggest culprit. Very little time passes after marriage and both of them start to say that the other has changed and now there seems to be no harmony. So, what has happened? We need to realise that interests and objectives are just mental games, as they keep fluctuating. Hence, it is dangerous to rely upon these as a solid foundation, as when these fluctuate, the whole foundation of marriage itself collapses. Even if these do remain unchanged, boredom creeps in, because the mind always seeks something new and gets bored by the present. Hence, no wonder that in the mind - oriented western society, marriage is so unstable. In fact, these are the very marriages, which often lack love. We should start to call them fascination marriages because of their fascination for each other that they get married and not because of love.
Marriage cannot be stable, enjoyable and harmonious, until we seek the soulmate. Every other criterion can at best hold secondary importance. Now, the question is, who is a soulmate and how does one discover if the other is soulmate or not? This is what we will discuss in the next article of this series.
|
|
Shivo
The Playful Mystic
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| | Graceful Metal Show Piece Dice Watch | Asmi Diamond Pendant | Encore Ladies Handbag | Rs.1,402 ($29.12) | | | | Rs.1,121 ($23.29) | Rs.8,670 ($180.10) | Rs.3,250 ($67.51) | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask our Experts :
Expert Advice, Personality, Immigration (US), Tarot, Hot Couture, Body Care, Matrimonial Laws, Sexual Health, Life, etc, Man vs Woman, Fitness. |
|
 |
|
Furl it
Reddit
Readers comment
