|
When u've got M-I-L
Tips for a happy saas-bahu jodi
|
 Ishita Bose and her ma-in-law Archana share a very special relationship. In fact, they are best friends. "It's very important to work on the relationship in the first few years and this will pay in the long run. Respect and compromise on a few minor issues form the base of a good relationship," says Archana.
"Some differences in opinion do happen in day-to-day life but without that life would be so boring..." she adds. Ishita also agrees that there are bound to be differences over small issues because "no one can forget the generation gap. But it depends on the individual how to tackle the situation. I think the best way is to sit down and have an open one-to-one conversation than to route it through a third person, or even your husband. Some amount of sacrifice and compromise is necessary in all relationships, but it should be from both sides. If people are very rigid then you have to make them see your point."
Today after 5 years of marriage, Ishita and her mom-in-law stay together more as mother-daughter. They are best friends and are each other's support system. "When Ishita is not around I miss her very much. I feel bored as there is no one to chat with or watch favourite soaps together," says Archana. Looking back, Ishita says, "my ma-in-law was there by me in my crucial days when I was carrying my child. She took care of me and helped in all possible ways and I can never forget that. I want to thank her for loving me so much and accepting me as I am."
As for some tips for a happy life together, Archana says,"To get back love, you have to first show love to your daughter-in-law. Welcome her in the family and treat her as an integral part. Keep in mind her choices and value her opinions instead of criticising her for small things."
Most of the girls on the verge of getting married suffer from the M-I-L (mother-in-law) phobia. The relationship between a woman and her mother-in-law is often the most maligned one. A M-I-L is often
visualised as an ogre and the young bride fears that she will be eaten alive by her. Though there are many women who rejoice in troubling their daughter-in-laws, not all mother-in-laws are monster-in-laws!
Forget Tu Tu Main Main , here are 10 golden rules for a happy saas-bahu jodi.
- Positive attitude - A positive attitude helps retain peace and sanity in the house. Entering a relationship with an open mind may not necessarily ensure a perfect result. A lot depends on how the individuals in the relationship make it work. However, starting a relationship without any pre-conceived notion, goes a long way in making it easier to accept the changes, to see the other person's point of view and provides scope for a healthy relationship to blossom and grow.
- Mutual respect and trust - As a newcomer in the family you should show respect to your mother-in-law. In fact you should be thankful to her, for without her you would not have found your dear husband! The same applies for mom-in-laws. They should accept the daughter-in-law as she is instead of comparing her with others. After all she is her son's life partner and his choice.
- Communicate - This is the most important tool for all successful relationships. Your mother-in-law is not your mom that she will read your thoughts. So speak up instead of keeping quiet and being apprehensive. It will help solve the problem more smoothly.
- Laugh out - Sometimes it so happens that it becomes difficult to convince each other about small things like eating habits or dress sense. In such situations, it is best to remain cool and dispel the tension by laughing it off.
- Learn their culture - Sometimes you and your mom-in-law may seem to be from Mars and Venus. So accept and try to learn something from each other. This will make life interesting.
- Give space - Let your bahu take a day off for herself to visit her friends or family. Don't try to impose your views on her or interfere with her way of life and thinking. Daughter-in-laws too should not criticise their moms-in-law for her beliefs or way of life, however conservative it may seem.
- Vent frustrations - It's natural to have small tiffs in your day to day life. Speak out firmly but don't be aggressive or abusive. Forgive and forget about it and don't let it affect your relationship bitterly.
- Don't try to change yourself - If you try to be the 'Perfect Bahu ' both you and your in-laws will be under constant pressure. Remember that your in-laws are not perfect either. If you try to be someone you aren't, then you will never be able to be your natural self which is the best way for people to come closer to each other. Your mother-in-law will, in all probability, appreciate that you are no superwoman. That way, she can drop her guard too and be herself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask our Experts :
Expert Advice, Personality, Immigration (US), Tarot, Hot Couture, Body Care, Matrimonial Laws, Sexual Health, Life, etc, Man vs Woman, Fitness. |
|
 |
|
Copyright © 2012 Shaaditimes.com - A relationship and wedding portal by Shaadi.com. - All Rights Reserved. Terms and Conditions
|
