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Married And Friends With The Opposite Sex?
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The Balance
So, what are the keys to a successful cross gender friendship after marriage?
- Do not seek such a friendship when your marriage is at a low point. This will become a dangerous liaison where you will look to fulfil the vacuum from your marriage.
- Never insult or mock your spouse behind their back. If you refer to your spouse respectfully, only then will others do the same.
- Keep the friendship open. Let your spouse know about your friend. Also, talk to your friend about your spouse often. Let him/her know the importance of your spouse in your life early on.
- Meet your friend's partner, and make your intentions clear through your actions and words. If everyone is amicable; a foursome gathering of the two couples is probably best.
- Keep it clean. Do not give people a chance to talk. Do not share a drink or a meal, or hold hands or even give friendly bear hugs. It may seem innocent to you, but people cannot read your mind. They only read your actions.
- Respect your spouse's emotions if they admit they are jealous. Insecurity is natural so discontinue your friendship if your spouse is unhappy about it.
- Remember, no friendship, of the opposite sex or of the same sex, should ever come between a husband and a wife.
The whole situation can be summed up in the words of Anna Garlin Spencer, "The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a lifelong experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed.
Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success."
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Aarti Thadani
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