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Falling in love
The emotional exploitation
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"I am falling in love". This is how girls normally express their feelings. Does one really fall in love? If one is falling because of some experience, can it really be called love? If love is divine, one will rise in love and not fall. But when everyone says - "I am falling in love", are they really talking about love or are they talking about some other experience, which is not love, but is commonly mistaken as love, as normally one has never experienced love.
"He always provides me with a shoulder to cry, whenever I am down", this is how girls typically describe the truthfulness of their love. But there is a big catch with such an approach. It simply means that she needs to be feeling down if she wants to experience love. Does it mean that if she is happy and joyous, she cannot experience love? She needs to realise that through such a misunderstanding of love, she is setting her own trap. When she perceives love through the lenses of the support he provides, while she is in crisis, she become incapable of experiencing love without such a crisis. Hence, when she is happy, she finds no other way by which she can experience his love. And even the guys face same dilemma, as they cannot experience love until they can provide her the support. So to experience love, first the lovers have to invite crisis and sadness.
Sadly, this is the misunderstanding, which rules the minds of the people all over the world. "Emotional Dependency" is very often misunderstood as love. Unfortunately, world over most of the woman feel insecure and incomplete. They have a sense that something is missing in them. This incompletion troubles them a lot and they have to look around for someone who can make them feel good about themselves. Even the beautiful girls have such a sense of incompletion that they need someone to praise for their beauty constantly. No wonder, if they find a guy, who can constantly assure them of their beauty, smartness or anything else, they tend to become emotionally dependent. Clever guys are aware of such weaknesses in women and hence can easily manipulate and exploit them to fulfill their own agenda. Emotionally dependent girls become easy victims for such guys, as they are aware of the formula, which is sure to trap such girls with little efforts. No wonder, such guys can remain dependable only till they fulfill their own motivations and they have no interest to continue in the relationship any further. And the girls begin to wonder, why the one who provided his shoulder to cry, does not even want to see her face now. This is how even the so-called deep love also falls apart with the passage of time.
So if the women are slaves of man, who is the real culprit? It is their own incompletion with themselves. This is what drives them to look for the guys who can make them feel complete and turn into their slaves in the process. Women should get clear that love is not a tool to pull them out of depression and sadness. If they are sad, real love cannot happen to them. Such a pseudo love can only make you fall and loose your own individuality. It is so unfortunate that people fall in love, while they had the potential to rise in love.
Such a phenomenon is not love, it is slavery. Man and woman both have their own mechanism, which makes them slave to the other. They cannot live with each other, and they find it even more difficult to live without each other. Both of them become smart at playing manipulating games with each other and somehow adjust to such a hopeless way of living life. Since they feel incomplete without each other, they also devise control mechanism to make sure that the other does not go away from them. This is how the possession and jealousy begin to creep in and becomes a monster, which can destroy the joy of relationship.
You may have a question, if it is possible to experience real love, which can be the source of joy, ecstasy and freedom. This is what I am going to discuss in the next article - "Rising in Love"
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Shivo
The playful mystic
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