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When Your Spouse Is A Degree Better...
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Monai, hailing from a lower middle-class family, had to drop out of school because of undetected dyslexia. The women in her family went on to complete school and some even graduated from college.
While the women in Monai's family went on to do academic jobs, Monai joined a leather factory. Monai has now reached marriageable age and is looking for a life partner. Prospective grooms are often impressed by Monai's picture and family background. But when they get to know that she hasn't completed school they often withdraw interest.
There are very few people who can appreciate all the other attributes that Monai has - she is a talented cook and very creative with handiwork. And though she completed Class X, she is an intelligent and logical thinker.
Can education be measured by mere academic degrees?
Unfortunately people often seem to measure intelligence with the attainment of educational degrees. It is often assumed that the higher the educational qualification, greater the intelligence. This may not always be true.
After all Nobel Laureate Rabindranath Tagore never completed school; yet his poetry, short stories and novels are taught in schools and colleges. Mughal Emperor Akbar though illiterate was an architect, artisan, artist, blacksmith, carpenter, emperor, engineer, general, inventor, animal trainer, technologist and theologian. And let's not forget that Bill Gates is a Harvard dropout!
So why are people often so fixated on just the formal educational degrees of the prospective partner?
Joydeep and Bani Dutta (names changed) while looking for a match for their son actually insisted that the prospective bride's mark sheets and report cards be photocopied and sent to them along with her horoscope. They advertised for an 'academically brilliant' bride and wanted to ensure that the bride's family wasn't lying about her academic performance.
Yet they said that their daughter-in-law was strictly not allowed to work. The reason they gave was, "A bride who was good in studies adds to family prestige. But if women work who will look after the household? They should make use of their education to teach their children instead. After all the husband who is working can't be expected to help with the children's homework."
Talking to the Duttas it seems that they insisted on a highly educated bride not because of reasons of emotional compatibility but just for ornamentation purposes. They never wanted to know what the prospective bride's hobbies, dreams, aspirations, likes and dislikes were.
How important is education in marital compatibility?
Ted from the U.S. says, "When I married my wife, there was a considerable difference in the level of education between us. However, this was not based on ability to learn but on her opportunity for education. Our marriage rests on a mutual understanding of more basic human qualities. I was able to let her go to college, which she did, with considerable success.
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