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Is cyber sex cheating or a harmless fantasy?
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A child may pretend to be an old man. An old man may pretend to be a teenager. Before I got married I had this cyber lover with whom I had great fun communicating. I even saw different images of my lover through web cam and found her to be a very beautiful woman. Much later my lover revealed to me that he was actually a man and those images were pre-recorded." Quite surprisingly Bill says that his sexual relationship with his wife has improved after experimenting with cyber sex. "We have an open marriage and both of us engage in cyber sex, sometimes sitting together in front of the same computer. Both of us went to these chat rooms after we felt that our lovemaking had lost fervour and innovativeness. Communicating with a large cross-section of people around the globe on various sexual techniques actually helped both of us to implement the same in our sex lives to make it far exciting." Mark quips, "Cyber sex is the safest sex ever. We are not in risk of getting AIDS or sexually transmitted diseases. Women don't have to fear of unwanted pregnancies."
Sociological standpoint
Manju Nichani, Principal of Kishinchand Chellaram College, M.A. in Sociology says, "Boredom and loneliness are major reasons for indulging in cyber sex. Both men and women indulge in cyber sex though women may withdraw faster and get scared soon as the fear of being caught and its consequences may be more frightening in the woman than for the man."
Probing deep into the psychological reasons as to why people indulge in cyber sex, psychiatrist Dr. Dayal Mirchandani says, "Some people engage in cyber sex for novelty and experimentation.
 Even if they are married or have a sex life, virtual sex is a different form of sex. Some people find it interesting because it is anonymous- they actually don't know who is at the other end. Some people do it to escape the hard reality of an unhappy marriage through cyber sex or because they can at least virtually fulfil sexual fantasies which they can't act out in real life." When asked if cyber sex can be harmful, Dr. Mirchandani answers, "Paedophiles often use chat rooms to track children. Since children are always curious about sex they fall prey to it. This problem is quite prevalent in India, as teenagers are not usually allowed to have sex with people of their own age. If one gets addicted to cyber sex in a way that one loses focus on his work or stops relating to one's partner it is harmful."
No-trust motion
Meenakshi says, "After the birth of my second child I was too preoccupied with my children and had less time for sex with my husband. I realized that we were also drifting apart emotionally. The first shock I got was when I discovered soft-porn magazines in his work desk. A few weeks later I found sleazy SMSes on his mobile from a woman he was engaging in cyber sex with. When I confronted by husband he was initially in denial and then put all the blame on me for neglecting him. I felt like divorcing him right away but after successive therapy sessions with a marriage counsellor most of our problems gradually went away though I don't think I can ever trust my husband as I used to."
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Pallavi Bhattacharya
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