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I have married my best friend
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"All love that has not friendship for its base
is like a mansion built upon the sand."
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
This Friendship Day (Aug 2) ShaadiTimes salutes all those 'best' friends who went on to become husband and wife.
Some people come in your life for a season; some for a reason. And those who come for a reason are your friends. Destiny allows you to choose a friend. What if destiny also allows you to choose your life partner who also happens to be your best friend?
Do they still remain as compatible, as empathetic and as unpretentious? Or do these qualities go flying out of the window the day they get married?
Three such couples dispel all nagging doubts.
Janice and Jai met in college and slowly became best friends. Their friendship soon bloomed into a lovely marriage. "We have always been very compatible. Our friendship lasted for four years and we courted for six years before we tied the knot " says Janice." We had a mutual understanding and that helped gain an insight into each other. When Jai proposed to me I realized that he meant more to me than a good friend. Jai is very levelheaded, understanding and stable. Our empathy with each other is complete. We can be with each other for hours and still not run out of conversation."
Has marriage brought about a change in the friendship you share?
"After marriage our relation is much more stronger and deeper. I confide in him totally. Our level of communication has increased tremendously. In an inter-religion marriage, where I am a Parsi and Jai a Marwari, there are a lot of adjustments and compromises to be made. Yet when you have someone who stands by you, life becomes so much easier. He is still my best buddy with whom I can share my entire self and I am happy that my decision to marry Jai was perfect."
When best friends marry each other do they make an ideal couple?
Is this the best kind of relationship because you know everything about each other?
"Marriages out of friendship are more sustainable because when you are friends, you are even aware of each other's innermost thoughts. You do not need to put on act to impress your partner. And this makes it easier when you decide to get married,"opines Vinith.
When Archana and Vinith met at work they did not have a clue that they would hit it off like a house on fire.
"She had joined my department where I was the manager and she had to generate sales leads for the company. We started working as a team. This made us spend more time with each other discussing strategies. We were colleagues for almost 3 years and had developed a great working rapport." says Vinith. "We became best friends in a span of 3 years. We started to realize that there was something more than just being good colleagues and excellent team members and that was not love but friendship," says a smiling Archana.
And what is the mantra that makes a relationship successful?
Complete trust in each other. To understand each other completely and to accept your partner along with all his/her faults. To compromise rather than change each other.
Vinith describes his wife as the most happening thing in his life. "Full of life, has endless amount of energy and a smiling face. She is very genuine and open. The most important factor is that she is my love and my best friend."
"My husband is my best friend with whom I can share everything. We share an open relationship. The most important factor in my life after marriage is that I have a person who loves me for what I am and is always there besides me,"says an ecstatic Archana.
 "Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends." says Jacques Delille, the French poet. And this is what happened to Manoj and Dipti when they struck a friendship whilst studying together in college. They chose each other as friends and subsequently decided to get married.
Cupid stuck Manoj and Dipti a year after their graduation when they visited the Mount Mary fair which was their yearly routine. However that year was special. Manoj and Dipti were college buddies and with each passing year their friendship became stronger. " During college we were good friends, shared everything together. But today we share a beautiful life," says Manoj. "Though we were in touch after college, it's during the fair that I realized that there was something more than friendship between us and I proposed to her.
When I look back what embarrasses me is the fact that I used to tell Dipti about the girls I would date. Life after marriage has definitely changed. When we were not married we never bothered to explain our actions to the other. But now we owe each other explanations. I am more sensitive towards her feelings. The perspective of the relation changes but not the relation. We are still best friends but first she is my wife, my responsibility. It is a relationship filled with companionship and trust."
What is interesting is that both of them are opposites in nature. Dipti is calm, very down-to-earth and gentle whereas Manoj is short tempered and impulsive. And therein lies the secret to their successful relationship. " During college we were good friends, shared everything together. But today we share a beautiful life. Dipti completes my being"gushes Manoj.
And as these couples walk along the marital path fulfilling their duties and responsibilities as husband and wife, they continue to enjoy each other as bosom pals.
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Natasha Havewala
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