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Love » Gender-relations » Attracting-force-in-relationship-060425
Is humour an attracting force in a relationship?

Is humour an attracting force itself? Do men and women find this quality an intrinsic essential in their image of the perfect mate? This question is as subjective as the concept of humour itself. History attests that comediennes, although high on popularity lists in social gatherings, shows, continuously sought after in their career sphere, are sometimes the loneliest and saddest people. ShaadiTimes caught up with those who had a viewpoint on the issue and with some celebs who were married to 'funny' men to find out where humour stands on their totem pole for a successful relationship.

Priya Haider
A recent survey in the U.S. notched humour at 32% followed by thoughtfulness 24%, supportiveness 23%, stability and security at 23%, similar interest at 16% and finally romance at a lowly 15%, as the important criteria when searching for an ideal partner. Businesswoman Priya Haider says, "You need somebody you can laugh with, but I feel sometimes the funniest people are covering deeper issues." Haider ranks humour as the least important ingredient with loyalty, power, money, character, looks rounding out the top five. She cautions, "Humour can work both ways; it can make you not be taken seriously, thus lowering the respect." She continues, "I am basically a happy person, and I enjoy intelligent humour in films such as Sanjeev Kumar's Angoor , which was a comedy of errors, and just released Hollywood film, Wedding Crashers .


Humour gives relief
Madhvi Kumar
Contrary to this, actor Madhvi Kumar, wife of Rajesh "Roshesh" Kumar says, "Humour is one of the most important ingredients in a relationship. But at times it gets annoying when we are in a serious conversation and he cracks a joke, and it happens most of the time when I start a serious talk. Later it may seem funny, but at that moment it really makes you lose your cool. I am more of an emotional person and he definitely has a better sense of humour and it keeps the relationship balanced, especially when we are having a heated argument; he is the one who cools down the temperatures and never lets the situation reach a boiling point." Rajesh too agrees with his wife, "Humour gives you a relief... it helps avoid serious arguments and clams the situation down before it reaches a war-like stage!"

Psychologist Geoffrey Miller at the University of New Mexico, in a recently released article states, "Women prefer funny men because their wit reveals an active and healthy brain - and a fine set of underlying genes. It's a very powerful and reliable way to show creativity and intelligence," Miller says. "Women were not lying when they said that they like funny men. This does not in any way prove that they actually are better mates for any objective reason."

Humour is a powerful antidote
Humour is a powerful antidote and antiseptic to some of the severest blows and problems one can have to look at in life, believes the man behind many TV shows, Mukesh Mathur. Is humour an attracting force? "Definitely,"agrees Mathur. He continues, "It definitely gives one a sense of fulfillment for responsibility leading one to focus on stress levels, priorities we tend towards." However, he clarifies, humour varies from person to person. He explains, "What I might find humorous, you may not thus you have to strike a fine balance when playing humour into the attraction scenario." There are different types of humour according to Mathur, "If you're working hard and you are young, an ability to make someone laugh is automatically the root of success. Humour at the cost of others at a personal level should have the objective to make the others laugh without any undercurrents. Although at times this can be difficult. We are not always able to laugh at ourselves such as in satire."

The power of humour
Techie Ritesh Pawar believes in the power of humour. Thirty something Pawar, married to Rupali, describes himself as a serious introvert with a lot of attitude. He says, "My wife changed that around. She's outgoing and fun loving and has a good sense of humour." His humour has at times been tested. "We both work different times in the day. When she is arriving home after a long day at the office, I am getting up and getting ready to leave for work. It can be stressful at times and sometimes it's hard to find the humour," admits Pawar.

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