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Dealing With A Blast From Your Past
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Life is strange - especially when an old flame from long ago pops in front of you unannounced, taking you by surprise. What should you do then? Turn a cold shoulder or adopt basic civil pleasantries?
Deepa was shopping at a mall with husband Manish and young daughter Kritika in tow, when they decided to take a refreshment break. Seated back in her chair watching Manish and Kritika in the queue to buy drinks, she let her eyes wander lazily across the cafeteria. ''Happy families out enjoying a Sunday,'' she mused at the sight of parents and kids.
Just then, someone from behind said, ''Hi Deepa. I can't believe it's you.''
Don't Feel Embarrassed
She froze. It was that voice - like a blast from her past - Ramesh, her boyfriend from college days.
All at once, Deepa felt uncomfortable, embarrassed, nervous and anxious. She turned to face Ramesh. He looked much as nine years ago, just older. For a few seconds, she looked past him, feeling awkward and unable to meet his eyes.
Then fortunately, she got the better of her panic attack. There was no need to be ashamed of her past - and more importantly, this was a chance meeting. It's not as though she'd sought to meet Ramesh.
In the next five minutes, they exchanged pleasantries. Deepa learnt that Ramesh was at the mall to buy his girlfriend a gift. Then she introduced Manish and Kritika, and Ramesh said he'd be on his way.
Deepa chose to behave cordially with Ramesh. She could have acted cold, but what point would that serve? It would look rude, and wouldn't it signal that she still harboured feelings for him? In fact, that could have led to an uncomfortable situation - especially if Ramesh had chosen to prod her further.
Know Your Priorities
As it is, the problem seemed to be dissipating of its own accord, when Ramesh turned around and said, "Give me your telephone number Deepa, I'll call you sometime - Shakti and other friends from college I'm in touch with would love to reconnect."
That did it. Manish frowned. Deepa managed a weak smile and said, "Give me yours Ramesh, I'll call when time permits."
Ramesh handed over a business card, and quipped looking at Manish, "She looks in great form. Just as always." Winking, he strolled off.
Deepa gasped, wondering how Manish would react.
Where had she gone wrong? She didn't mind polite conversation for the sake of being cordial, but had been determined to make her intentions clear - she'd moved on since years ago. Her life was going the way she wanted it to, and she was happy to send that clear message to her old flame.
Why Spoil The Present?
Nonetheless, her behaviour was not enough to avert Manish's taunts a few minutes later. Manish knew about Ramesh, but seeing the guy 'check out' his wife was too much. "Why couldn't you have avoided speaking to him altogether? Don't you realize he took complete advantage of the situation? Or perhaps, you enjoyed seeing him after all these years?"
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