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Squealing on a friend's husband
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A few days back a very good friend of mine (let's call her Rakhi) came to me and asked this question: "Can you tell a friend that her husband is not faithful to her..." Why did she ask such a question? Read it in her words.
"Last week I met an old friend of mine. We were in school together and shared a very warm relationship. After passing out of school we went our separate ways. She went into fashion designing and I went to an Arts college. In the beginning, we kept in touch regularly, but as you know, time and distance can change things. Slowly we drifted apart.
"About two years back, she got married. Unfortunately I was abroad then so could not attend the happy occasion. Of course, when I came back to India, I went to meet her. I met her husband for the first time, and like everybody else I too thought of them as an ideal couple. Both of them were good-looking, educated, intelligent and very much in love with each other!
"It was expected to be a fairy tale with the happy ending- 'and they lived happily ever after'! Alas, it was not to be so. After a while, I started hearing disturbing things about my friend's husband. People were talking about his extra-marital affairs. For a while I didn't pay heed to such talks. This world is full of jealous and malicious gossip-mongers and they were targeting my friend's happy life.
"Today, I am not sure whether I didn't believe the rumours, or didn't want to.
"Whatever it was, I continued believing that my friend's marital life was happy and trouble-free. But a day came when I had to face reality. I was witness to the man's infidelity first hand - and that too not just once, but time and again! He was going around with a girl from my neighbourhood. Now it was not possible to fool myself anymore. That man was cheating on his wife, my friend!
"I couldn't decide what to do. I was not sure how she would react if I went and spoke to her. So I kept quiet. To be honest, I tried to avoid her after that. A few days later, I bumped into her and she invited me home with much affection that I couldn't refuse. I went praying that her two-timing husband was not there.
"Well, he was not there physically, but he figured in my friend's conversation all along. With love, happiness, and pride she went on and on about her wonderful husband. Listening to her, one would have thought that she was not talking about an ordinary man but some demi-god. No other husband could be as loving, as caring, or as understanding!
"Before marriage and even afterwards, for a while, my friend worked for a well-known fashion store. But she had left that job. In her words, now she was a happy, content housewife who was busy taking care of her lovely home and loving husband.
"She had said with a smile: 'He doesn't like me going out to work'. Her husband's reluctance in letting her pursue her career was a sign of love, according to her. With a false smile plastered on my face, I kept on listening to her cheerful talk. Each word and gesture of hers was breaking my heart. The object of my friend's adoration, devotion was a cheat, a fraud! He was playing around when my friend was sitting at home waiting for him.
"Imagine my horror, when she said, 'I pray to God that you also find a man like my husband!' I couldn't bear to hear anymore. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. I wanted to slap her and open her eyes to reality. Instead, I just said goodbye and walked out of her house. And hopefully out of her life."
Narrating this tale, my friend Rakhi was in tears. "I am so confused. Did I do the right thing? People say one should always be utterly frank to one's friend. In that case, I betrayed my friend. But on other side, I care too much to hurt. Here is a person who is happy with her illusions. She considers herself to be the luckiest woman in the world. Telling her the truth would mean shattering not only her illusions, but her whole world.
"If she was unmarried, then I would have been honest with her. Because then she could have made a choice. But now.....?"
After agonising over the issue for days, eventually Rakhi has decided to keep quiet. She says that the woman would learn the truth one day. "Let her be happy till that time. Why be in a hurry to invite sorrow?"
Rakhi adds: "It is even possible that the wife is aware of her husband's infidelity. She might be miserable but she doesn't want me and the whole world to know that she is defeated. She might be under the illusion that I don't know the reality. If that is the case, then why should I embarrass her by my knowledge? She has lost her love, why take away her facade and the last ounce of dignity too?"
Of course, Rakhi is not very happy about the decision but she has found justification for her action, rather inaction. Now tell me, what would you have done in a similar situation?
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Varsha Pathak
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